meg

your local bog witch

[Alex @alexxmalloy]

oh look another beautiful day. should we all quit our jobs and get margaritas outside?

[s 🍉🍒🎄 @saucherie]

just because God gave me a trusting round face and empathy doesn't mean you tell me ur life story the day you've met me

[livefreeordavid.bsky.social @livefreeordavid]

Being gay in 2024 is just saying “Not Ekin-Su, lord not Ekin-Su.” over and over again.

[meg @megbalto]

breaking: men just discovered gel pens

[meg @megbalto]

white boomers will be like "why does the grocery store cashier i verbally harass each week deserve to have money for food and rent 😤" but then turn around and post on facebook, re: millionaire Vanna White getting a raise, "congratulations dear you deserve it!!"

[meg @megbalto]

all of Sanctuary better be addressing me as “chef” from now on

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

When I say I have that dog in me, this is what I mean

[meg @megbalto]

an essential part of the home-buying process is doing a funny little bit inspired by one of your favorite reality stars

[meg @megbalto]

crashing my car bc I’m too busy skipping ahead to 5:12 in a&w

[meg @megbalto]

@SpicyChefMwah this is also mine!

[meg @megbalto]

i need these tiktok girlies who talk about getting consent from your dog to pet them to explain how i get my dog to ask MY consent before aggressively licking me for a half hour straight

[meg @megbalto]

ocd is not liking to organize it’s throwing away the last two cheerios instead of just one in case the cheerios have feelings and they get lonely

[meg @megbalto]

.@POTUS the reports indicating your administration’s intent to greenlight the Willow Project are deeply disturbing. Please commit to stopping Willow – for our climate, communities, and ecosystems – before it’s too late. https://t.co/KEDoJdmNEc

[meg @megbalto]

the one thing holding my mental health together rn? that tiktok sounds that’s like “you know what it never was? that serious”

[meg @megbalto]

i love when the vet knocks before entering as if you might be naked in there

[meg @megbalto]

whoever at my gym is leaving 65 lbs on each end of the squat rack barbell and leaving it ON THE FLOOR needs to be put to d*ath i’m sorry

[meg @megbalto]

Woman’s a great song but tbh Need to Know should have been nominated instead. the old ppl deciding these things probably scared to seem TOO horny. cowards