Megan Beatty

always curious

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

"The Christian shoemaker does his duty not by putting little crosses on the shoes, but by making good shoes." - Martin Luther

[sammy rhodes @sammyrhodes]

every day we stray further from the love of God

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

Literally my shopping strategy is spent 20 mins browsing Google for related-ish products to what I’m actually looking for and then wait for the IG algorithm to serve me the perfect product ad. Works every time

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

Strongest case for wanting to be pregnant I have encountered thus far is so that I can dress the belly like Rihanna

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

hi Twitter I’m baaaack

[Mason Mennenga @masonmennenga]

tfw you are developing the technology to put a camel through the eye of a needle

[michael cruz kayne @CruzKayne]

there is nothing i won't do to make sure the waiter likes me. i will sell out everyone at the table. "i'm so sorry about them" even if they're being totally normal. nothing matters more to me. i would give it all away.

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

1. Read the comments on this tweet

2. Somehow I doubt that if it was men getting these procedures the situation would be the same

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

Why has it taken me until now to realize the perfect fitness goal is “be ripped enough to pull off Lara Croft for halloween”

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

Any ad that starts out with “hey babe” is automatically a big hell no from me dawg

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

Got the text inbox down from 26 to 2, I think that’s enough work for one night

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

My boyfriend just told me that I would have murdered on @BacheloretteABC and if that’s not true love idk what is

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

The devil works hard but the bachelor producers work harder

[river buddy butcher 🤠 @rivbutcher]

Why THE FUCK were adults so obsessed with not putting your elbows on the table, like

[jimmy, the seminary dropout @ope_im_gay]

medium rare take, but you have to jump through so many MORE theological hoops to try and simultaneously affirm a queer person's sexual *identity* while demanding they don't *act on it*, than if you were to simply fully *affirm their romantic love as holy and good*

[Timothy Burke @bubbaprog]

Here is a physics paper explaining exactly how she accomplishes this conversion of angular velocity to linear velocity. https://t.co/vWcU8yrozD

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

@chelmore @LAPublicLibrary I JUST SAW THIS AND IM DYING

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

I love the way alcohol tastes but I hate feeling like shit this is a pickle

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

The only two categories

[i can be your long lost pal @PallaviGunalan]

r u a baggy sweatshirt tiny pants girl or r u a tiny top baggy pants girl?

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

A moment of respect for Kris Jenner and Tish Cyrus out here crafting moguls like it’s nbd

[Megan Beatty @megbeatz]

I’ve got a mad aquarium craving rn