Meg.the.Mom

my kids say weird things, I’m just here to document it✌🏻

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

Quarantine - day one: having a three year old is like having an obsessive stalker, only he’s constantly demanding cereal and Netflix. #springbreakdown #Quarentine #quarentineandchill #help

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

“Dads always outside, except@for when he’s inside”

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

To 8yo: L, you’re so pretty, did you know that!?
8yo: If im pretty, let me stay home from school. I don’t need to learn
#isulooking #forasugardaddy #londonsaidwhat #shitkidssay

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

“Please stop using the puppy as a weapon” this brings dog fighting to a whole new level. #kidsareweird

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

@Best_Of_Beth My whole life

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

Instead of watching cartoons when we get dressed in the mornings, the girls and I watch investigation discovery. We help solve crimes before school #investigationdiscovery #ID #solvingcrimeseatingcereal

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

What did you have for lunch today
7yo- some folded pizzas.
#schoollunch #ipayforwhat #shemeanscalzones

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

L- "Mom, O needs a bath"
Me- "he got a bath this morning"
L- "he has bubblegum on him"
Me- "how'd that happen?"
L- "I was chewing it and didn't know where to put it when I was done"
😑😑😑 putting gum on the baby seemed like the best idea...?

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

7 y/o started making her Christmas list today 🤔🤔
The only thing listed is 10 bags of #kingshawaiianrolls
#foodie #welovebread #hawaiianrolls

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

Lemme shoutout on my babies. I had surgery on Monday and they have been the best nurses. I had noodles in my hair and they waited a whole day to tell me🙃 #sosweet #helpme #ishoweredtho #littlenurses #theyrethebest

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

Parenting done right: 9 year old woke me up this morning with a cup of coffee and said “you go to the doctor in an hour” #youright #personalassistant #alarminhumanform #thankskid #thingsmykidssay #helpfulhands

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

About 10 minutes later he comes walking in the kitchen with a half eaten dozen corn dog. He had opened the box on his own and had nibbles on ALLLLL of the corn dogs. #patience #whatsthat #colddogsfordinner #livinghisbestlife #twomuchchaos

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

Had a meeting and went grocery shopping earlier so housework was left for this afternoon. While I’m picking up I saw 1 year old open the fridge and thought nothing of it cause he does it a lot.

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

Asked Hubs what Afib (heart related) was, he replied with “a small lie” #heaintwrong #dadjokes

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

Also, I’d like to take the time to thank my 5 whole followers. #speech #aintgotnofriends #5followerparty

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

Girls are discussing who’s going to be the driver of the pretend car that drives off the pretend cliff. #nomorehorrormovies #beforebed #thingskidssay

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

It’s 340am and I can hear my one year old in his bed talking about Cheetos and apple juice then he laughs. wut. #kidisweird #didyouparty

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

“I’m not your cat, don’t hit me with the paper” #thingskidssay

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

Got granny in the front seat trying to hum to #Beerbongsandbentleys and the one year old is throwing donut holes at me. How’s your Monday?

[Meg.the.Mom @megnthemommy]

Your riding toy is not going to fit in your basketball goal.