mel

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[mel @melaniegly]

Who more identical to Dylan sprouse

[mel @melaniegly]

Just remembered that in high school I wore a crew neck sweat shirt with an infinity scarf like 3 days a week

[mel @melaniegly]

Nothing like finally being alone so you can tip toe walk everywhere

[mel @melaniegly]

Just found my Harry Potter tattoo Pinterest board from 2012

[mel @melaniegly]

Guy who goes to strip club and spends entire time Shazamming

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

If he:

-Changes his entire look for you
-Travels 1,900 miles upstream to chase you
-Procreates and dies
-Replenishes an entire ecosystem with his carcass

He's not your valentine, he's a Chinook salmon

[mel @melaniegly]

@mecory00 I literally have to boil water on the stove here to take a bath

[mel @melaniegly]

The worst thing about living in a shitty apartment is not being able to have a good shower cry because there’s only 8 minutes worth of hot water

[mel @melaniegly]

I thought season 1 of White Lotus was better and I won’t be explaining myself

[mel @melaniegly]

Virginia | physics or virginal physics you choose

[mel @melaniegly]

Yeah my mom would have hated this guy

[mel @melaniegly]

I am seeing a new boy and I really like him but I have no mom to call and tell about it and now I’m crying

[mel @melaniegly]

I’m quitting everything got asked this last night on a first date and I answered toast

[mel @melaniegly]

As a person who doesn’t like food or eating the worst question in the world is “what is your favorite food?” Twice this week I had to answer with “pasta w butter” bc I couldn’t think of anything else that wasn’t salad

[mel @melaniegly]

Billy Joel saying “you Catholic girls start much too late” is actually about me having a sleepy little lie in on a Saturday morning

[mel @melaniegly]

@mecory00 Free markets >>>>>>> free elections

[mel @melaniegly]

@mecory00 I eat to live I don’t live to eat😤

[mel @melaniegly]

As a person who doesn’t like food or eating the worst question in the world is “what is your favorite food?” Twice this week I had to answer with “pasta w butter” bc I couldn’t think of anything else that wasn’t salad

[mel @melaniegly]

@mecory00 I have no idea what you’re talking about

[Chess.com @chesscom]

300k people watching you play the match of your life and you play a London...

could never be me

[mel @melaniegly]

@mecory00 I’m waiting til marriage

[mel @melaniegly]

What’s it called when you’re carsick but like all the time and not just in the car

[mel @melaniegly]

I used to complain about paying taxes then I got stuck in an elevator and the fire fighters came to save us and got us out in less than in hour and now I never will again