Melanie Oates

CompSci gal. Founder/CEO of Melden Tech. Parent caregiver to twins with disabilities. Professional speaker

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

Saying NO is part of my self-care.
- No, I can’t help you right now
- No, this is not a good time for me
- No, I’m going through some things and need time to myself

You don’t have to be the “strong friend” 24/7. Give yourself the grace you deserve.

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

Being a special needs parent can be very lonely and isolating. If you’re having trouble finding people that understand, start listening to a Podcast or follow a special needs community social media page.

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

Getting a diagnosis for your child is NOT a bad thing. It’s NOT a label. It’s NOT indicating that you failed.

It IS a step closer to getting you the services and resources that you need.

The diagnosis is a LEVERAGE not a LABEL

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

It’s unfortunate professional social workers and case managers could not help me get my child 24/7 respite care, but I figured out a way to do it. Hopefully they will take what I did and HELP other families now, instead of telling them to give them up!!

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

I learned it really boils down to who is going to pay for the help. I’m talking hundreds of thousands, even millions of dollars. The process to get all your ducks in a row is so daunting and quite frankly traumatic. I’ve lived it. Trust me I know.

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

I was told I had to give up my parental rights and make my child a ward of the state in order to get her the help she needs and deserves. The fact that THIS statement was the first thing on the table is utterly disgusting and disrespectful. There has got to be a serious change!

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

So it’s either the biological parents suffer or we get the “help” that has been recommended and the child suffers. This is not ok! This has got to stop!!!

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

I'm a suicide survivor. Sometimes we are so far gone, we don't even know how to look for help or want to get help. You could be the person that changes that, just from the question: "How are you doing". Don't just say "hope you get better". Stop hoping and actually offer help.

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

For the last decade, my mind has been in a fog. I was functioning, but not functioning. Now that my daughter has 24-7 respite care, I can think clearly on what I'm capable of.

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

If you ask someone "How are you doing" and that person says "I'm not doing good". Don't get annoyed. Remember you're the one that asked the question: "How are you doing". Be intentional with what you ask. You could save a life with your response.

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

@hfarinc 🙌🏽🙌🏽

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

@SeaAndBeScene @DGCTalent @thefilmfest @SJIWFF @gametheoryfilms @wiftat Same name! She must be awesome 😉 Happy #InternationalWomensDay

[Here For A Reason, Inc. @hfarinc]

📬 HFAR behind the scenes with our founder, Melanie Oates

#nonprofit #impact

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

Job Recruiter: What is your strength?

Applicant: My autism

^^^
Autism is not one size fits all. It’s often overlooked as solely a disability, when in reality, it is an amazing skill

#autism #autismawareness #autismspeaks

[Melanie Oates @melanieoates_]

@hfarinc It’s an amazing feeling knowing my personal circumstances as a special needs mom has turned into an impactful organization helping families across the United States. Sometimes it takes a life-changing situation for you to truly understand what your purpose in life is 🙌🏽