Melissa Perrigo

Carpe Noctem

[Melissa Perrigo @melissaperrigo]

@GovKathyHochul horrible idea

[Melissa Perrigo @melissaperrigo]

Hey guys remember whenever creed bratton got Debbie brown fired over something she didn’t do. Good times.

[Lord of the Rings @LOTR_Quotes]

Sam: “Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It’ll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they’ll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields… and eating the first of the strawberries with cream.”

[Melissa Perrigo @melissaperrigo]

@marksmathew Mark...

[gary from teen mom @garyfromteenmom]

first you must answer his riddles

[Jim Halpert, Dunder Mifflin (Parody) @JimHalpert__]

who did this 😂😂

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

British dudes get stabbed and be like “Hmm. Bit rude innit.”

[Melissa Perrigo @melissaperrigo]

I feel like this needs to be said: “a part” and “apart” are two completely different things. One could even say the opposite.

[Melissa Perrigo @melissaperrigo]

Yeah neither do I

[Melissa Perrigo @melissaperrigo]

Do you guys ever meet people with incredibly small heads

[Melissa Perrigo @melissaperrigo]

Dear Japanese Pension Service,

I’m not playing hard to get. I am ignoring you on purpose.

Sincerely,

Never paying

[Melissa Perrigo @melissaperrigo]

Not to subtweet EVERYONE but if you’re gonna post a picture of yourself don’t write some comment or pun as an excuse just say you thought you looked pretty don’t LIE TO ME

[James @CaucasianJames]

this certainly didn’t age well

[Melissa Perrigo @melissaperrigo]

The measure of a woman: how many lose cookies you have in your purse.

[Melissa Perrigo @melissaperrigo]

The real heroes

[George Probst 🦈 @GeorgeProbst]

@Photoshop Recreationalist

[kim @KimmyMonte]

this dog literally failed every single test thrown at him to become a service dog and i am scream laughing. but imho he’s still a very very good boy.