Brando

peaked in middle school

[Brando @melonchuck]

Dont worry about the freshman 15 because youll lose it all when you starve at your apartment the next 3 years

[Chicago Bears @ChicagoBears]

Good. Better. Vest.

[Brando @melonchuck]

@BarstoolBigCat I saw taco bell promoting “national taco month” in a commercial, is October really the time for a taco? Gonna need your top taco month

[Brando @melonchuck]

@BarstoolBigCat In the end, the whole path to meeting his perfect partner/wife was pointless, he marries her, she dies within an episode and the final scene repeats the first episode of trying to win over robin, they had to go this route because Jason Segel wouldnt sign on for another season

[Who's Next @WhosNextShow]

I’ll take you there

[Samantha Steele Ponder @samponder]

Every year on 9/11 I take the kids to ground zero to write down names engraved in the memorial. Then we go home and look them up to talk about their stories. Today, my youngest was writing a name when a woman walked up and asked her what she was doing. When she explained, the woman gently asked “will you write down my son’s name too?” We spent the next few minutes talking to Morton Frank’s mother about his life. He was 31. When I asked her how she was holding up on the 25th anniversary she teared up and said, “same as every other day.” #neverforget

[Jarvis @jarvis_best]

Hahahahaha maybe the most Chicago story ever. People are pissed because the Teacher’s Union won’t disclose their finances so instead of just disclosing their finances they are suing the people asking them to disclose it. Beautiful.

[𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚 @beyoncegarden]

THIS IS TAKING ME OUT😭😭😭

[Brando @melonchuck]

Hm

[Micah Parsons @MicahhParsons11]

Facts …🫣

[Batto @Batto079]

Bro watching The Odyssey inside the Trojan Horse.

[Sgt Blackout 🫡 @coldcallsniper]

Well, I got the hard part down I redownloaded Hinge. Now I just have to figure out how to become a multi-million dollar NFL quarterback.

[Chicago Cubs @Cubs]

2x All-Star Pete Crow-Armstrong has a nice ring to it.

[Joey Chestnut @joeyjaws]

Bad day to be a hot dog!! Happy 4th of July!!!

[1776 Live @250YearsAgoLive]

Continental Congress HAS SIGNED A DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE! 

The UNITED STATES are OFFICIALLY INDEPENDENT from BRITAIN.

LIBERTY BELLS ring out throughout Philadelphia; the streets ERUPT IN ECSTASY.

[Keegs @lordesghoul]

There’s a chicago-wide conspiracy to walk slow in front of me

[Brando @melonchuck]

@D_J_V96 I’m so sad dude, he was the best

[Chicago Cubs @Cubs]

WE ARE TIED, CHICAGO.

[MLB @MLB]

THREE straight walk-offs
EIGHT straight wins
FOURTEEN straight home wins

The @Cubs.

[ESPN @espn]

ILLINOIS STATE WITH LESS THAN 2 SEC LEFT 😱

The Redbirds advance to their first NIT quarterfinal in 30 years 🔥

[Illinois State Men's Basketball @Redbird_MBB]

DEATH, TAXES, JOHNNY KINZIGER GAME WINNER.