Melongrcube

Blep :P /pos —^=^—minors DNI—^=^—24

[DabiDekuHawks @tcdabidekuhawks]

Izuku: Anyone down to take couples counseling and see at what point the therapist realizes we barely know each other?

Dabi: Idiots to lovers, 20k words, angst with a happy ending.

[vozart @vozartee]

the farmers are worried about soap getting close to the bull across the fence …. but that won’t stop him 😗

#GHOAPWEEK2026

day 4 hybrids!!

[Melongrcube @melongrcube]

@FrancoBarbiLil @vozartee Someone bring me back in 2 days!

[Ananya🪷 @ananya_pvtpf]

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they're measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat you, a technique shared by boa constrictors

[eggpie @eggslut2]

I think its fun that birds will just walk really far if they want to show you something cause they know your featherless ass cant keep up if they fly

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

The man ahead of me in the Costco line leaned back over two pallets of sparkling water and whispered:

Man:
If my wife asks, this TV was $799.

I looked at the TV.

Eighty-five inches. Big enough to receive weather patterns.

Me:
How much was it actually?

Man:
That number isn't helping anyone.

His cart also had ribeyes, a kayak paddle, and one of those tubs of pretzels the size of a toddler.

Me:
Why are you telling me?

Man:
Because she respects neutral witnesses.

Me:
I'm not a witness. I'm buying detergent.

He nodded like that was exactly the kind of integrity profile he needed.

Then his wife appeared from the sample aisle holding two tiny paper cups of soup.

Wife:
They have tortilla today.

She looked at the TV.

Wife:
Did you get the one we talked about?

He didn't answer fast enough.

Wife:
How much was it?

Man:
Seven ninety-nine.

She looked at me immediately.

I hate that I have a face people ask things to.

Wife:
Was it?

Me:
I don't know your marriage.

Wife:
That's not what I asked.

Cashier, without looking up:
It's $1,299.

Absolute silence.

The cashier kept scanning rotisserie chicken like he'd just announced the weather.

The husband closed his eyes.

Man:
I was going to explain the rebate structure.

Wife:
What rebate structure?

Man:
Potential future value.

Wife:
On a television.

Then she did something unexpected.

She set down the soup and said:

Wife:
Okay, then the patio set was $400.

His eyes opened.

Man:
It was not $400.

Wife:
Correct. It was $900 and I said clearance because I didn't want the speech.

Now I was watching two adults discover each other in real time over a mountain of bulk groceries.

Man:
You lied about the patio set?

Wife:
You lied about a television the size of a garage door.

Man:
I was protecting morale.

Wife:
I was protecting summer.

Cashier:
Do you still want the TV?

Both of them, instantly:
Yes.

Then they looked at each other and started laughing.

Not cute laughing either. Tired marriage laughing. The kind that means this is not new, just newly public.

The husband looked at me.

Man:
You saw nothing.

Wife:
He saw everything.

Me:
I'm buying detergent.

Cashier:
And honesty, apparently.

I got home and told my brother.

He said:

Brother:
That's marriage.

Honestly looked expensive.

[Resko★ @Bloke_Baz]

not dating to marry, not dating to separate, but a secret third thing (dating to enjoy being with a someone you're compatible with for as long as you both enjoy each other, no matter if that's months or years or the rest of your lives)

[Dev :3 🔞 @Non_C0nnoisseur]

Sometimes fanfiction is “he would not fucking say that but boy would it be hot if he did”

[emi ☆ @emizzzso]

whitsantos and their matching pjs

[𝓷𝔁𝔂𝓲𝓮 @glooomiii]

*drools on you as you scroll by*

[PunishedAoi @PunishedAoi]

did you know the retirement age in the US used to be fifty years old? 50. You'd work for a company for 30 years, get a pension and retire with plenty of time left to enjoy life. Now they expect you to work to 70+. Literally until you fucking die.

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

I see you..person that makes the content thumbnails on HBO Max

[Vivian @suchnerve]

ADHDers will be like “I’m coping just fine!!” but then it turns out they’re making up for their executive dysfunction by skipping Very Important Things such as meals, sleep, cleaning, organizing, hygiene, paperwork, projects, hobbies, socializing, and exercising

[Melongrcube @melongrcube]

@ghoztylagoon I started watching the Pitt because of you😌 binged to 7th EP

[Melongrcube @melongrcube]

@winteraspen_ OMG are those beauty marks!!!

[✨drowning in wips✨ @s0fter_sin]

ghost with a stutter is consuming me

his father tried to beat it out of him and the army took care of what was left; now it only shows up when he's emotionally charged

[Melongrcube @melongrcube]

@kings_hand_31 Can I be at can I be added to the tag list?

[Wasp @StinglessWasp]

Destinations (part 2)

[Wasp @StinglessWasp]

Destinations (part 1)