The WNBA’s newest unofficial roster has arrived and we didn’t bother waiting for an invitation.
Introducing Enes Kanter Freedom, Royce White, Brock “Briana” Pierson, and Will “Willamina” Van Booraem: four courageous women united by long hair, impressive bench press numbers, and the belief that biology should never stand between someone and a professional basketball salary.
People have complained for years that the WNBA lacks balls. That problem ends with us. Collectively, we’re bringing eight.
Our three point shooting remains under investigation, but our commitment to representation is unquestionable. Height, weight, hormone levels, beard density, and athletic eligibility should never determine who gets to call herself a professional female athlete.
We’re not asking for special treatment.
We’re demanding roster spots, guaranteed minutes, and completely separate shower arrangements.
Women’s basketball is about to become stronger, broader, and considerably hairier.
Let us suit up.
Let us take the court.
Let us change the game.
And please... let us know where the razors are.
Twelve years since you left us, Dad. And I never stopped talking to you.
I tell you about the people who write to me because you got them through their worst night. I tell you about the work, the wins, the days that ask too much.
Mostly I tell you about your grandchildren. They know your laugh. They ask about what you were like. I tell them you were kind.
You spent your life making people feel less alone. That job is ours now.
Miss you today. Miss you always. Love you forever.