𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐊𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐘 🍦🍨

“ I am healthy, I am wealthy...I am protected, well respected” | future nurse 🩺💉🫶🏽🍃🙃 | adhd baby ✨

[𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐊𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐘 🍦🍨 @MelroseKey]

@Oloni Some of y’all really could’ve got the bag but y’all a “lol I’m joking” a mf. Listen! 🤦🏽‍♀️

[cali @calithedonnn]

i am not a girls girl i hate stupid btches and bad mothers & boy crazy btches

[𝐇𝐚𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 @TheHaarth]

Catholics invented hospitals and universities lol

[Nicky💕 @jas_d_barbie]

I need women to start embracing male hobbies too. Disappear for six hours on a Saturday and come back with absolutely nothing to show for it.

[Sol ☀️🍳 @sol_boiled_egg]

Egg my boy, you were never a perfect king, but the fact that you literally tried to end Targcest by letting your kids marry for love instead of each-other and your son SPECIFICALLY broke off his engagement to fuck his sister was some bullshitttt. That was NOT your fault LMAO

[` @schiz04renic]

i hate a lustful coward pretending to be a lover

[fefe @fefewhitee]

sério deve ter sido a maior paz que eles tiveram na terra

[Rei @rlevi]

This song is so wild because she's singing about enticing men with her sexy belly dancing and he's rapping about latin americans & carribbeans uniting to stand strong against the CIA

[•Mel•🏂 @DrMel_]

The hack is to have sex immediately after the wedding, before the reception. Go back to your hotel and fuck for like 30mins, keep the guests waiting then come out glowing and excited to dance and eat

So I heard

[𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧★ @olivvrszn]

Nobody warned me that working a 9-5 job basically means you cannot see the dentist, doctor, or handle any appointments, because they are open when you are still at work, and when you get off work, they are closed.

[Wiz Fajita @trillary_banks_]

The reason you couldn’t wash your cast iron was because of lye in dish detergent, which hasn’t contained lye in like 40 fucking years. Now your apple turnovers taste like fish for no reason, wash that shit out

[J.C. Carter show @CarterJahad]

Wait-

[💋 @YourFavGem__]

My favorite part about fall is when them mosquitoes go back to hell

[LLONER 🦅🪐 @eyojoel77]

I want to be courted. I want to go on dates. I want hand written letters and flowers. I want ROMANCE. It’s a dying art. 😭

[Luisa María @03LmD_]

Un día vas a pedir un ramo de flores, y Dios te mandará un jardín, confía

[jd @_notvance]

Generational lock in by Lupita Nyong’o

[Keith Acouplabeers @acouplabeers]

I’m making 80k in the $80 full tank, $2500 apartment, $18 chipotle burrito era

[Jago𓆩♡𓆪 @educated_scally]

Dating to marry will make you realize that the "plenty of fish in the sea" narrative is false. alot of people are really not worth that level of intimacy.

[crplaisir🫧 @taddymole91]

A reminder for the girls: living alone in a world built for 2 incomes is actually an insane accomplishment.

[. @UntoldbyTerry]

Bitch, I just hollered bc that’s exactly what they would do

[hipsey hussle. @yoobelle]

Please learn to move on ladies. The love of your life is looking for you.