sia ~ forced recovery

✨ recovery to relapse ✨ heartbreak & motherhood ✨ lowest: 13.1 ✨ current: 17s ✨ highest: 24.4✨ 170cm ✨ no minors please ✨

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

if you’re a sh account please don’t expect a follow back if you follow me i can’t stomach that stuff it disturbs my brain and stomach deeply - i’ve sh’d previously but i can’t comprehend sharing it or anything and i definitely don’t want to expose myself to it in any way.

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

does anyone have tattle invite code so i can register please

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

6 weeks

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

i always learn the hard way

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

guys i’m so lost and confused with everything the way it is at the moment

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

sweat is legit is fats tears

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

feeling full makes me feel dirty and disgusting

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

@she_is_so_tiny this is news to me but i could do with one of these too… just minus the sugar just daddy’s money 💰 💰 💰

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

i do not want to be 'anorexic’ again but it feels so fucking safe in my (s)hell.

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

i need, i don’t need. i eat, i don’t eat… story of my life

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

this situation is horrendous, but i am too lethargic to do anything about it. or maybe ambivalent. desperately ambivalent. i want & i don’t want. i want to get on with my life and i want to starve myself towards a perfection again that i know will keep moving just out of reach.

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

the dumb thing is i can’t explain how much this is not about weight or losing it or even about food. i just can’t stand feeling the way i do inside without it showing on the outside.

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

this forced recovery has stopped me in my purging cycle so it wasn’t all bad i guess it helped me stop i hope i don’t ever start that again

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

i have a bad feeling about tomorrow

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

my bpd is so bpding right now

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

gonna lose all this weight f them f therapy f it all. honestly

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

on wednesday i’ll be free to do whatever the fuck i want again if things go as they are planned in my head

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

gained weight for nothing allowed it all to happen for nothing what a waste of space everything is especially me

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

feel like giving up so badly 😭

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

asdfghjkl i feel like all this weight gain has been for nothing i meant by now i could have been at 38kg instead im sat at nearly 58 from 48 and being told i cant have the therapy i so desperately need until i gain even more weight it doesn’t even make sense

[sia ~ forced recovery @memyselfedandi]

i was supposed to start trauma therapy and now they’re saying i can’t because of my ed how does thay even make sense