it literally will never get better. any tiny improvement is immediately and overwhelmingly outweighed by everything bad. it has been getting worse for my entire life and it will only get worse as time goes on. im kept here for nothing other than to be tortured. why?
>barely manage to force myself to do something
>struggle every single step of the way
>somehow manage to finish it
>"you need to put in more effort"
mfw
my life is fucking meaningless and i deserve nothing
i had a crisis at university today. i kept thinking about doing it because i was convinced that it was the only way. im failing uni badly but my parents wont let me drop out and i dont have money for therapy/psychologist appointments to treat my problems.
everything tells me that i shouldnt have been born. there's no place in the world for me and it makes it awfully clear to me every second that im alive.
i keep being pushed in every single direction but never given the option to go in the one i choose to. never even given a way out. i need it to stop so badly.