ɹǝdsɐɾ

this is my heaven and hell and the place i grow old

[viktor @k111vv]

Abusers be like why the fuck did you tell them I abused you that’s abusive

[Cynbad @cynthierss]

Substance abuse

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

Never thought I'd say this again but this girl's got me down bad 😮‍💨

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

7 years later and I'm still struggling with the fact my Mother is dead.

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

I'm having a really hard week and I wish my mother was alive to hold me through it.

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

Gotta say, grief is a fucking bitch and you will never know how it will influence your mood and your day especially if you're as neurospicy as me.

The birthday and day of passing will forever be blocked off from work, no matter if "last year was okay". Every year is different

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

Her at my wedding. To have the big monumental mother/son dance after seeing both my brother and sister have that.. that thought always hits honestly, but most days it isn't bad. But today it got me stuck. And so I started writing this here for all to see.

Grief is not linear.

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

Gotta say, grief is a fucking bitch and you will never know how it will influence your mood and your day especially if you're as neurospicy as me.

The birthday and day of passing will forever be blocked off from work, no matter if "last year was okay". Every year is different

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

Her voice for the first time in a long time, to the point I couldn't remember it and couldn't find anything with her talking after many hours of searching.
And if you're anything like me, my ADHD started firing all these things that she missed out on and how I will never have-

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

BPD really is the worst on those closest to you, especially your pets

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

Now it not the time to care

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

If you ever wonder why it happened, just know I tried to fight it till the end

I'm sorry.

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

This insomnia will be the death of me one day

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

It's getting bad again.

[ɹǝdsɐɾ @merenots]

Why am I still fighting to live