Mary Claire Bennett

What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful. -Scott Westerfeld

[Mary Claire Bennett @merrclerr]

Only two remain! I #VoteCardiB for 2018 @MTV @VMAs Best New Artist presented by @TacoBell. Winner revealed tonight. Go vote: https://t.co/DeYS2nYMC1

[Kirsten Pritchett @kirstenabigail2]

The kids I nanny asked why I wanted to see Incredibles 2 and I said because the first one came out when I was a kid

and they really asked ....

If it was in color

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

[gets hit in the head by a ball]

4-year-old: Hey! That's where I keep my brain.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

My kids had a Ken doll with elbows that bend.

They made him dab.

Now they don't have a Ken doll.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: I don't know why they delay school when it's cold.

7-year-old: Duh. Brain freeze.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

3-year-old: Can I have Kool-Aid?

Me: Sorry, we're out.

3: Can I have beer?

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: Want to run some errands with me?

5-year-old: Grown-up things are annoying.

Me: You have no idea.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: Wake up. It's a big day.

5-year-old: *rolls over* I only do small days.

[Funniest Vines @FunniestVines]

the only mood I'm going into 2018 with https://t.co/DuUYJrqpjj

[John Mayer @JohnMayer]

When I was a kid we didn’t have Netflix or iPhones. When we wanted to watch something we’d close our eyes and press on them really hard.