michael hoenig

orthodox jewish ; metal-head ; plaintiff's no fault lawyer ; all elite ; wwe hall of famer ; Pokemon Go trainer ; anime ; Star Wars cosplay

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

I'll try spinning, that's a good trick.
Yes Anikin, it certainly is. #starwars

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

New York Comic Con 2026 was the year of the dugon cawler crrrl. Started reading it. Its ok. Hunger games meets d&d. I'm saying "gdammit donut" a lot now. lol #donutlife #dungeoncrawlercarl

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

@cinemassacre One of the best episodes of modern nerd. Only the cowardly lion laughs better than the joker.

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

How is The King on High different from human judges? To avoid being canceled you need to sing an AI generated musical apology, deflecting blame to your accusers. For the King of Kings, just hum a few bars of ahhh na na, nah nah nah nah,,ahhhhh na nah nah nahhh Nana. #YomKippur

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

If you can't say something nice, adopt more cats.

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

WE are the New York Knicks. Reasons we won 1) #danhausen 2) #swiftys 3) maybe Brunson and OG #gonewyorkgonewyorkgo

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

My dad explained psychology as a profession, to me as a kid as, 'someone who helps people with their problems.' As an adult, I would probably explain to other adults those professionals are experts in 'how to human.'

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

Anyone else forget round one of the #nbaplayoffs has been best of 7 since 2003?

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

Let's go #knicks no messin around game 5! End of 1, up 13! Life lesson, never let up, ever.

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

The path to wisdom can be chosen by you or for you. Whether you continue the path is your choice alone.

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

#sleighbells song over a Serina Williams pharma ad was not on my #SuperBowlLX bingo card

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

https://t.co/GenKAIsrf6

Put on your sorting yarlmeka, grab your floating candelabra and have a harry, harry, harry harry potterca!

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

The greatest teacher, failure is. -Yoda.

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

@SimonMiller316 I mo do things my way...my way or the highway!

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

BREAKING NEWS: Renowned high holidays cantor admits to not composing melodies himself. "I cannot bear to hide this from the congregants it any longer. I used a computer program to create artificial vocalizations, basically, my tunes were created by A -OY."

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

BREAKING NEW: Whistle-blower opera-singer's courtroom testimony sends shockwaves through entire industry: "No, we don't sing actual words! The entire performance is just us yawning along with the music. What, you didnt know that?"

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

Have you defeated @AJStylesOrg even once bro? No? I just met someone who has three times! @realellsworth at card clash expo in the world most magical place Long Island,NY. Seriously, nicest guy ever!

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

[The parting of the Skibbity Toilet. Sick glitchy level transition. EgyptoBros were caught in 4K when OMG flushed.]
PhaRizzlord: Claback was real. So cringe I'm cooked, SMH
Mo’sus: LFG! A W for the ages. NGL this Yeet-Ziat Ohio is lit
OMG: smash the LIKE button and subscribe!

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

[OMG levels up with main character energy. Covid is on fleek. PhaRizzlord is put on blast]
PhaRizzlord: Only in Ohio! Yeet them from the chat. On the edge of a menty b. Rage quit!

[michael hoenig @metalesquire]

Mo’sus: PharRizzlord! Yeet my squad out of Ohio!
PhaRizzlord: Nah. No release from the grind. Hop off
Mo’sus: Take a seat you simp, OMG finna Covid for the W
PhaRizzlord: OMG is mid. Humblebrag, my GOAT Mewgicians will slay
Mo’sus: Weird flex but ok. touch grass bc you’re p0wnd