trash.bin

oh no plz help I am n̷ ̷o̶ ̵t̴ ̵ ̷ ̷g̸ ̴ø̸ ̵ö̷ ̶d̸ a t i n t e r n e t ~EEÊƏ€€£££££~¿

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

Me: I'd like to buy a house.

Bank: What you'd like is irrelevant. Only the will of the Omniscient Number can decide your fate.

Me: D-does the number will it?

Bank: It might, but we'd need to invoke it.

Me:

Bank: Invoking the Number will likely cause it to change its mind.

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

I’m sorry if this is how you found out.

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

@s8nstan Thank u. I need to be reminded sometimes. 🙏😩

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

Britney Jean Spears did not shave her head for our sins just for you to be cishet.

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

#FuckTheBorder 🖕🖕 #WelcomeWithDignity

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

Today was the day Donald trump finally became president

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

@meganamram I decided to look up your account for no other reason than to check if you were still tweeting this.

I was not disappointed.

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

Flying Spaghetti Monster: *passing spaghetti and marinara* Take and eat -- for it is my body and my blood.

Me: Nice.

Spaghetti Monster: *passing breadsticks and meatballs* and this is my --

Me:

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

So I learned something interesting today.

We as a species have managed to figure out how to harness lightning as energy, make rocks do math for us, get people to the moon and back, and how to split individual atoms.

And yet we cannot seem to figure out how bicycles work.

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

Someone's got a kink.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

It’s kinda flattering to be insulted on this site tbh

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

@MissNeona I'm empowered, enriched, and enlightened by this important information. Thank you.

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

If you say　ぴぴぷぷ it doesn't actually mean anything in Japanese, but it sounds like "peepee poopoo" in English and I think that's beautiful.

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

Things midwesterners say:

Ope! - (Hello.)

Ope! - (Sorry, I didn't see you there.)

Ope! - (Oh no, I spilled my drink.)

Ope! - (Oh dear, I tripped and ate shit on the pavement.)

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

*at an autism convention*

Speaker: By a show of hands, be honest, who here has the "autism arms?"

Me: *desperately trying to raise my tiny T-Rex hands*

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

Does anyone remember Fear Factor or was that just a fever dream?

[thank you capcom @ghosttrickwhen]

AFIOJMNAOFJMNXZC*)RY$)(#U$HJ@#()REKWDMCXZCMXPCZXLCZ<CPFKMEPEWFEQMPXZCK{COPE{RPOQL{Q<DA{XZ<XAS{PXCPAC{CXZ OZLP{CXZLV<XZ{<CVMC{JMADSOFPNF{PAMDASMPDASPDMASPDAS

[thank you capcom @ghosttrickwhen]

day 470 of begging for a ghost trick port
gonna drop the most horrifying image next time

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

Hey guys, I think #FinalFantasy might be a little gay.

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

CDC: Here, take this covid vaccine to prevent you and your loved ones from dying.

Conservatives: AGH!! NO, IT'S GOT A MICROCHIP IN IT!!

Elon Musk: I'm going to literally implant a microchip in your skull.

Conservatives: TAKE ALL OF MY MONEY RIGHT NOW!!

[Greta Thunberg @GretaThunberg]

this is what happens when you don’t recycle your pizza boxes

[trash.bin @mfinbeenz]

@elonmusk Vox Populi, vox Dei, fuckwad! 😎