Coach Snief

Head ball coach. They call me the millennial Steve Spurrier. Not affiliated with Miami

[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

We take down USC 43-20 in Los Angeles. TE Willie Hyde finished with 9/123/3 while RS Fr QB Jeff Rhodes had another impressive road performance with 353/4/1.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

We fall 41-38 at home to Valhalla. While all eyes were on the blocked kick to end regulation, it was 3 straight interceptions that sunk us. CBs Vai Luani and Juan Wayne had pick 6s and WR Colby Maddox caught a 69 yard bomb to give us life late in the 4th.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

Miami opens with a 38-13 win over Bayou. The defense was swarming and the offense did what it needed to. TE Theo Wile led the offense with 2 TDs. CB Sinilau Faoliu had 2 INTs.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

We squeak out a 42-35 win over UCF to start the season the right way. QB Tanner Applewhite and WR Earl Riddick lead the way in front of the home fans.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

DT Marcus Downs: an Albert Haynesworth clone, this guy can ruin your locker room and the other team’s run game at the same time.

SS Julius Redwine: 10/10 name, 10/10 game. This guy’s playing on Sundays next season.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

As we count it down to the beginning of Season XIII, let’s take a look at some key Illini pieces.

QB Tanner Applewhite: our 4th QB in 4 years. What he lacks in mobility he makes up for in frozen ropes.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

WR Tee Parrish: his top end speed and sure hands will give the team a downfield threat it hasn’t had in years.

TE Pat Mahoney: he can’t run or catch, but his elite run blocking ability should give our offense a new look.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

The Illini finish 18th in recruiting, highlighted by Ben Zambrano out of Rigby, ID. This little squirt has star dev and, standing tall at 5’11” (in cleats), is at least 2 inches shorter than every other QB on the roaster.

#NECFCrootin

[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

With Nashville breathing down our neck, we offer ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ RT Junior Merchant a variety of impermissible benefits to secure his commitment.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

The Illini air it the fuck out to the tune of 450 pass yards in a desperate bid to make LT Andrew Sprague stay with us since that asshole cares more about pads yards than winning. Oh and we lost 63-41.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

Illini win a wild one in Vegas over St. Valentine with a final score of 44-41. Running game went wild with 403 on the ground, including three 100 yard rushers.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

Illini shit the bed in the first half before making a furious comeback, only to fall short 27-21. Two chances to take the lead in the 4th ended with a TOD and a pick.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

Illini lose 52-41 at home to Cal. Played some great offense in the first half but a porous secondary, drops, poor decision making, and spotty blocking ultimately sink us.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

Kienholz looked so good during bye week practice that we move back into the top 25.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

Illini kinda shit the bed on the road at CBU. Transfer portal addition Lincoln Kienholz had some good throws and some not so good throws. Ca’Lil Valentine looks like he could have a big year.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

Illini win 52-14 in Fort Worth. A couple big stops on 4th down and a whole lotta pine tar and deer antler spray carry us to victory.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

The Illini finally break through with a fine bunch of 4 stars, flexing their Central Florida pipeline to bring in some foundational defensive pieces.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

Illinois pulls this one out on a Hail Mary to win 40-35 and move to 1-2. It’s not all rainbows and ponies, however, as Altmyer is now up to 8 picks on the season.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

Illini win the 4th quarter 7-3 on their way to a 37-7 home loss to Maryland. QB decision-making was the deciding factor. Made some stops, got some sacks, and turned it over on half of our drives. Back next week on the road at BYU.

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[Coach Snief @miami_NECF]

Tomorrow.