Micah Margolis

Pure Facts, No Lies, Your Mom

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

People be hatin on almond joys too much

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

I pick the m&m’s out of trail mix

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

I think Tucker Carlson and Don Lemon are just gonna swap places for funsies

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

The idea of a bed is wild to me, like we just be laying on slabs of foam

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

I could go for a BLT right now

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

My goal in life is to have the same amount of confidence as LeBron James after just one (1) made three-pointer

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

Jeremy Wade has a new show on Animal Planet, the world is at peace

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

Laying flat on the floor is like therapy

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

@SLCgodol @KccGodol @Kccnsiah @KCBBYO @LibertyBBYO Pennsylvania will return!

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

What are The Wiggles up to these days?

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

There is no such thing as a boneless wing, there are wings and there are chicken nuggets

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

I need Lin-Manuel Miranda to play Marlin in a live-action Finding Nemo

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

Every TED talk feels familiar. Like, I feel as though I’ve seen this one before

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

Maturing is realizing Puffs makes better tissues than Kleenex

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

It just be humid sometimes

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

The worst thing ever is someone recognizing you in public and you just not knowing their name

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

@abe_friedland Do it, I dare you

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

How many times must I tweet before I’m a niche internet micro-celebrity?

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

If you’ve ever called a mint “spicy” you’re just wrong

[Micah Margolis @micahisleft]

You ever see something so funny your breathe out of your nose real fast?