michaela

still team Bernie

[michaela @michaelamiller9]

I’m impressed with the plans for The Bay, including a medical centre and child care is huge. Next up on the list for what downtown needs: a safe injection site

[bri @bribrisimps]

the devil hears that you’re nauseous and sends you a tesla uber that is heavily air freshened

[Mike Reiss @MikeReissWriter]

Doctors put Mitch McConnell's time of death at 6:42 am, June 15, 2007.

[larry davids mistress @b1gdumb1diott]

Sorry baby, mommy can never own a home because she would buy 65 touch tunes credits every time she had 2 drinks in her

[Boston Globe Pitchbot @BostonSatire]

Modern day Seinfeld: Jerry dates a woman named Julia with views on the Middle East he hates but she has a giant rack. Kramer stockpiles barrels of crude oil to sell for a profit but didn’t realize it can’t go in cars, and now has to try to sell it back. George tries to make insider bets on DraftKings on Yankees trades but the team never makes any of the trades. Elaine is smitten by a handsome guy but won’t commit because he still listens to Diddy music since “Diddy never did anything to me.” Newman has to deliver mail to “J. Epstein” and is convinced Jeffrey must still be alive, so he stakes out the apartment, only to find it’s actually Julia, the girl Jerry is dating.

[mini 👑 @mini4butches]

you guys ever been so in love you’re like i’ve gotta develop a secure attachment style for this one

[sam @sam_d_1995]

Cuomo parking his OJ truck in the bike lane is really the perfect encapsulation of his campaign

[X @XaviercMiller]

You don’t see neighborhoods like this anymore because most young parents don’t own homes. Less than 5% of mortgage holders are under 30 in major metros, and the average homeowner is over 50.

That’s why most neighborhoods or suburbs feel empty, they’re owned by older people whose kids are grown, while younger families are renting apartments & priced out of the communities.

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

every nyc mayoral debate is like

cuomo: i am not rapist, i am italian
zohran: i am running in nyc not tel aviv
sliwa: 5 people tried to kill me on my way here. fuck you

[Kirg🇪🇸🇦🇷 #RonIsDead @KirgyC]

He has two wolves inside him one is super woke and the other one tells him to set homeless people on fire

[The Spectator Index @spectatorindex]

BREAKING: The World Health Organization says neither the painkiller Paracetamol/Tylenol nor vaccines have been demonstrated to cause autism.

[Billy Baldwin @BillyBaldwin]

Not Black.
Not Trans.
Not Muslim.
Not an Immigrant.
Not a Democrat.

Meet Charlie Kirk assassin Tyler Robinson.
A white Christian, Conservative, Republican male with a gun... again.

[men women and femmes and chainsaws @tronsgender]

If I get rabies because somebody imagined dog autism I swear to god

[Nisha Patel, MD MS, Dipl of ABOM, CCMS @DrPlantel]

Mitochondria are microscopic. You cannot diagnose “mitochondrial challenges” by glaring at a child in an airport. What you can do is prey on parents fears with pseudoscience, while ignoring the real crises our kids face, like gun violence, food insecurity, and lack of healthcare.

[𝒮𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓉𝓎ᥫ᭡ @THEEDON304]

Your body does not give a damn about your diet or gym routine if you're constantly overwhelmed by your life circumstances.

Prioritize your peace.

[99% Johnny Graz @jvgraz]

"We starved a cancer patient to death" isn't the resounding vindication you think it is.

[trash jones @jzux]

a poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me

[📸 👩🏻‍💻 HONEY 🪞👩🏻‍🎨 8th cammiversary July 2 @itshoneylive]

hate when you forget about an onion or a potato in your pantry and it becomes Evil

[🤠 @heavensbvnny]

all girl want is... wear big shirt no pant... eat snack... have kiss...

[laurence 💀 @uncletwirl]

get tradwife snooki winehouse off my timeline expeditiously.