Michael Burr

Not followed by anyone you’re following

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

I just need everyone to know that I am not a creepy male. I am a creepy female.

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

If you’re in the middle of a heat wave right now, don’t forget to thank your local boomer 🫡

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

If you ask her what the first rule of fight club is, and she answers “to fight?” She’s too young for you bro

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

#leavehim

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

What’s a calorie def I sit?

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

I guess in some states it technically is…

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

Okay but why does the word “Femicide” sound like a birth control?

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

Bless-ed be the fruit.

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

@r_s_guerrero Maaaaybe 🙈

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

Sending this to my crush so she doesn’t get the wrong idea

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

@beefyapples Like a hairless cat 😏😏

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

@beefyapples ALLL of them 😈

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

“Love thy Gays” - King James. Season 3, episode 14

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

Running errands a little drunk should be legal. 🤏

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

@ImALyingWeasel Actually 200 on a microwave is 2 minutes… DUH

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

Two minutes on a microwave is 160 and not 120 and everyone is just OKAY with that?! 🤯

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

@jordijoints

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

@beefyapples You are

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

When your cat thinks she owns you not the other way around

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

@olvera7054 In this economy ?!

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

@no_goblins Happy Birthday! 🤗

[Michael Burr @MichaelBurr1987]

@olvera7054 Why are they shaking hands like power rangers?