Sorry I can't go out tonight because I have an essay to write. Not that I'm going to write the essay tonight but I need to devote a certain amount of time to not doing an essay before I actually do it.
Ellen: So I heard you have an empty hole in your life desperately needing to be filled
Me: Ellen what did you do
* my old high school caf ladies come onto stage with trays of freshly baked caf cookies *
Me: omg Ellen you didn’t
literally no one:
me: the only feasible ending to avengers endgame is ant man shrinking, entering thanos' ass and then expanding there's no other way to end it