Michael Fish

Weather prophet, hurricane expert, spoof force of nature.

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

WEATHER UPDATE: Isle of Wight now in Surrey #StormEunice

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Man up, Gibbs. Seen more wind on a curry night with Kettley.

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Morning @carolkirkwood. Just checked the Met Office Spectrum and it's all looking dandy.

Want a chai latte from Starbucks?

#StormEunice

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Relax, everyone. We are keeping a very close eye on the satellites.

There's volleyball on Sky Sports and some racists on GB News. Nothing unusual.

#storm

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

WhatsApp from Kettley:

"Seen the news about the storm, Mike?"

Fella's off his tits again. Has gone downhill since his wife left him. It's just a bit blowy.

#StormEunice

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Relax, Schaferknickers. Me and Kettley looked at the satellite thingymebobs yesterday. Dry in the south, 18C, light southwesterly.

[Tomasz Schafernaker @Schafernaker]

#StormCiara now really being felt across northern and western UK. Increasing winds in south too. (#metoffice app radar).

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

SEVERE WEATHER WARNING

It's blowing so hard, Phillip Schofield is straight again

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Weather alert: utter shitstorm incoming

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Get the gritters out and fetch your 50-tog duvets. It's bitter out there.

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Over 70s: just the one cardigan will do today. It's hotter than Carol Kirkwood in her Spanx.

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

SEVERE WEATHER WARNING: Storm Boris heading towards the capital. Absolute shit show. Keep pets and nannies inside.

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

April wasn't this sodding pokey when I was doing the weather. Just saying.

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Watch out, folks. Word on the street is there's some snow on the way.

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Amber Weather Warning: my dog's just taken a piss in the snow

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Crack open the factor 40, there's a 32 degree scorcher on the way tomorrow, folks.

What's that Kettley?

Oh, scrap that. It's fucking farenheit. Always gets me.

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
There's a woman in Luton who reckons it's blowy
Definitely no hurricane on the way

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Slap on the suncream folks, it's a scorcher out there. These Indian Summers are getting later and later. Must be the Greengage Effect.

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Erm, guys. Has anyone seen the sun? The last time we lost it was after Bill Giles' stag do.

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Weather alert: Dublin is now in Birmingham

[Michael Fish @MichaelFishBBC]

Morning, Caz. Pop the kettle on, love, looks like another quiet one. https://t.co/NGfrF11hOk

[Carol Kirkwood @carolkirkwood]

Morning xxx