Michael McGarity

I'm but a humble pea farmer looking for his market | 27

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

I don't have inner monologues I have inner soliloquies, that bitch ain't listening

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

the moment you realize you need to touch your face less is also suddenly when the same face becomes inconceivably itchy, another one of god's little tests

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

I don't have a lotta respect for whoever is naming groups of animals. You're playing too many games boss.

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

I have a patriarchy conspiracy that Juneteenth was made a federal holiday to give a day off near Father's Day without giving one near Mother's Day but I need to waterboard former president Joe Biden to prove it

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

Minecraft dropped peer2peer and not one of you fake ass hoes has added me as a friend

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

I hate when people ask what I'm thinking about. Would you ask a fish what it's swimming about?

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

people with aphantasia just aren't trying hard enough

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

Internet culture is making fun of someone for not knowing something we all made up last week

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

There are two wolves inside of me, both named Grayson, or Gray for short if you prefer

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

there's a suspicious overlap between the people who tell me I can't trust wikipedia and the people who read me ai search results

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

I LOVE buying things and the internet has gotten really bad at selling me things, what do you want my engagement for you silly little apps

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

power is meant to be abused that's why they made it so powerful and fun, you must resist however, they don't tell you this

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

my tweets are too long. think. SHORTER.

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

every time someone sends a picture on the work chat, another guy clearly puts it into chatgpt with a prompt like "make a joke wit dis" and then sends at least 3 of them

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

How do you ease curiosity about being unblocked on Spotify, without being the person who got blocked on Spotify in the first place

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

@knight_boxx @cdlenjoyernysl @DoinkDidThis @justinboldaji So is Asmon, and yet 💀

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

I wish my phone sent me push notifications based on how it knew it was affecting my mood, that text from an ex can wait till I have the serotonin to handle it

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

capitalism is kinda fucked, cause I could afford a horse. but we just don't have the horse infrastructure.

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

tiktok is abusive for unrequited feelings

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

I don't age super fast, but I have noticed my freckles aren't very dark anymore and that sucks

[Michael McGarity @MichaelGuyYo]

I didn't get a fortune in my cookie, so I think I'm gonna die soon