Michael Dawson

When reading my tweets, I'd love it if you could mentally add the sassy two-note brass bit that concludes the chorus of 'Let's talk about sex'.

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

@Grabaka_Hitman Can not wait for Derrick's walkout - and for the military band to bust out 'Tops Drop' by Fat Pat

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

I wanna make love in this The Coffee Club

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

Joke’s on you babe. By describing it as weaponised you have made my incompetence totally badass

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

My wife and I like to make love at different times. I like to do it in the morning and she likes to do it in her 20’s

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

@daveweigel @murderxbryan What’s a good Guys ep to start with?

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

Can I get a he’ll yeah?!

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

It had better be good - July’s was utter bullshit

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

New webcam is capturing my acne rosacea in stunning 4K. My crows feet look like vulture talons ✨

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

Time to get some rest. Tomorrow promises to be another long day of being insulted by my algorithm

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

Well damn, LG Home Screen, various is precisely my jam 🔥

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

Once more a campaign is afoot to make me know who Matty Healy is. Again my defences have held strong, but for how much longer?

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

@DrewDober I'm 5 years in and I'm lucky if I can take a shower

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

@NewYorkRic Superb take

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

@nichodges Well the torture is over. See you in another 15 months

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

Password strength can be measured on a scale from Very Weak to Bon Iver Song Title

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

@murphymike your idea of lobbying cable companies to separate Fox News is brilliant. Needs a sticky name - my suggestion is #AxeMyFox . Surely Hollywood celebs would be queuing up to promote it?

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

@realDonaldTrump k

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

@ryanjreilly @chrislhayes I misread this as statues and it still kinda made sense

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

@murphymike @HacksOnTap @Robt_Gibbs @davidaxelrod What happens after the election? Don’t turn off the Tap.