Michael Mitchell

sports and jokes :) working for the caps

[Michael Mitchell @MichaelJonMitch]

THIS AGED PERFECTLY LETS FUCKING GO THATS MY GOAT

800

[Michael Mitchell @MichaelJonMitch]

Ovi with a hat trick tonight for 800 I’m calling it now

[Michael Mitchell @MichaelJonMitch]

You’ll be having a normal day and then suddenly your dad hits you with:

[Michael Mitchell @MichaelJonMitch]

@frank_seravalli @WalderSports God you’re such a stupid bitch

[Michael Mitchell @MichaelJonMitch]

Dudes see this and say hell yeah

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

A ‘GODZILLA MINUS ONE’ guitar designed by Takashi Yamazaki has been given as a gift to the Japanese rock band The Alfee.

[Michael Mitchell @MichaelJonMitch]

Average trump supporter thinks you watch South Park to relate to Cartman

[Steve 🇺🇸 @SteveLovesAmmo]

SouthPark has always been so based.

[Michael Mitchell @MichaelJonMitch]

WHY IS THE FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON STARTING DURING WORKING HOURS ON A TUESDAY

[Frank Seravalli @frank_seravalli]

#NHL 2025-26 Opening Night Tripleheader:

Tues. Oct. 7
5pm ET: #Blackhawks at #FlaPanthers
8pm ET: #LetsGoPens at #NYR
10:30pm ET: #GoAvsGo at #LAKings

Full schedule release on Wed. July 16 at 1pm ET.

[H̀͠T̶TP ́̕L̨͡o̡͠v̕ec̢̀͜ra̛͞f̕ť @HTTP_Lovecraft]

People who live in small towns are scared of cities, and people who live in cities are scared of small towns. People who have lived in both are only scared of small towns.

[Michael Mitchell @MichaelJonMitch]

Failed Subway campaign name

[offseason Nate @capsf1sh]

>Backstrom retirement
>Oshie retirement
>Ovechkin last season annoucment
>Cup Core getting older
>No caps hockey till October
>Canes own us
it’s gonna be a long offseason, caps nation

[B/R Open Ice @BR_OpenIce]

Alexander Ovechkin's unbelievable season comes to an end... 🐐

-Broke Wayne Gretzky's all-time goals record
-Most goals ever by a player 39 years or older
-His highest goals per-game in a season since 2010
-Finished 3rd in the league in goals despite breaking his leg and missing a month
-Led the Capitals to the best record in the East

The Gr8 Eight gave us something SPECIAL this year 🔥

[Michael Mitchell @MichaelJonMitch]

@capstrav1s @JoeBpXp @Laughlin18 Was just talking to him while we watched the last few mins of the first period. Someone said “we miss you!” And he responded by saying “I hate doing this:” as he twiddled his thumbs

[srey @sreyan18]

being conservative nowadays is just being too stupid to understand how basic things work and then making up a conspiracy about it

[Nabeel Alamgir @alamgir_nabeel]

The perfect day:

- Show up here at 8:30am
- 9 hours of Zoom calls with people working from home
- 30 minute paid lunch break
- Leave at 5:30pm and drive 45 minutes home

It doesn't get better than this!

[Michael Mitchell @MichaelJonMitch]

Death, taxes, and Ryan Coogler+Michael B Jordan making a masterpiece

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Ryan Coogler’s ‘SINNERS’ is one of the only movies ever to get a near-perfect Certified Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes with 99%

Read our review: https://t.co/AGnQ9Gwyyv

[ESPN @espn]

CHASE COMPLETE ✅

THE ALL-TIME NHL GOAL SCORING RECORD BELONGS TO ALEX OVECHKIN‼️

[Sportsnet @Sportsnet]

GOAL NO. 895 FOR ALEX OVECHKIN 🚨👑

[Michael Mitchell @MichaelJonMitch]

Ovi hat trick for the all time goal record tomorrow night. Calling it now.

[Michael Mitchell @MichaelJonMitch]

“Dreads”

[June @HoodieBrunson]

Jaylen Brown has cut off his dreads

[Capitals PR @CapitalsPR]

The Washington Capitals have signed forward Ryan Leonard to a three-year entry-level contract. Leonard, the eighth overall pick in the 2023 NHL Draft, led the NCAA in goals (30) and game-winning goals (9) and ranked 10th in the country in points (49) this season.