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Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
If you like comedy, you'll like this page. If you LOVE comedy, you probably won't like this page.
Joined March 2011
416
Following
91
Followers
819
Posts
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
over 1 year ago
I am really good at telling someone’s coffee order, just by looking at their receipt.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
almost 2 years ago
“Congratulations; you’re our new maths teacher.” “Omg I can’t even!” “You’re fired”.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
almost 2 years ago
What ever happened to Donald Trump?
#Trump
#DonaldTrump
#USA
#democracy
#president
#POTUS
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
almost 2 years ago
Hope you’re well.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
almost 2 years ago
I wonder what the main guy from “E.T” is doing now? Because it must be hard to get acting work in this day and age when you’re an alien.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
about 2 years ago
My PC died due to an over DOS.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
about 2 years ago
I had to put this joke about IKEA together myself.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
about 2 years ago
I saw my therapist today. I feel like she’s really making progress.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
about 2 years ago
Remember when Tom Hanks gave us covid?
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
over 2 years ago
Life is short. But lif is shorter.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
over 2 years ago
Wishing a Happy Birthday, to all those who celebrate.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
over 2 years ago
We are just months away from what can only be described as August.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
over 2 years ago
This podcast studio was too cold. https://t.co/yuRwxhutNh
#podcast
#recording
#pod
#podcastlife
#comedy
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
over 2 years ago
Listen to my new podcast ‘Deja Vu’, where every week I put out the exact same episode.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
over 2 years ago
The letters E N T love to always be the centre of attention.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
over 2 years ago
I’m gonna name my child with a combination of lowercase letters, uppercase letters, numbers and symbols. Because I want them to always feel secure.
#comedy
#parenting
#micf
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
over 2 years ago
People say that Sonos are the best speakers, but I think that is a stereo type.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
over 2 years ago
Kate Middleton spotted.
#KateGate
#KateMiddleton
#WhereIsKate
#RoyalAnnouncement
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
over 2 years ago
‘Dune’ should have been released in June.
Michael Lanzer
@michaellanzer
over 2 years ago
Everyone in my family has difficulty pronouncing the same word. It’s Heredity.
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