Michael Martinez

my wife’s boyfriend manages this account

[Boots Riley @BootsRiley]

Guillermo Del Toro and an audience full of people at The Grove in LA told me to tell you to get your ass to the theater to see I Love Boosters.

Do it tonight or tomorrow so we get the opening weekend count

[david ehrlich @davidehrlich]

i asked a cop why all of 42nd street is blocked off and he told me it's the one night of the year when single people are legally allowed to have sex.

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

hi guys

[Bloody Disgusting @BDisgusting]

Chatting with @screenrant, Hannibal creator Bryan Fuller reveals that he’s working on a project with Clive Barker!

Fuller teases, “I’m collaborating with Clive Barker on a new television series that’s very exciting, and a dream come true from my childhood."

[Michael Martinez @michaelmarttt]

There is a god, and it’s Junglepussy

[Michael Martinez @michaelmarttt]

@alejandroxpadi

[Pete Blackburn @PeteBlackburn]

Generational run

[Chris Evangelista @cevangelista413]

One battle? What’s next, another? Fuck this

[Michael Martinez @michaelmarttt]

@TomBradyEgo @NFLFantasy @ESPNFantasy

[New Beverly Cinema @newbeverly]

https://t.co/48ETr7PFpw

[Is Today Nathan Fielder’s Birthday? @natfielderbday]

Today is Nathan Fielder’s birthday.

[very baller cash money normal sane person @normal_ballerz]

fool me once, aw man why dude what, fool me twice, aw dude what the hell man fuck, fool me three times, aw shit dude what the fuck man

[Jamie @transsexualdyke]

*showing a girl my room* Yeah and here's a fidget cube I stole from the mall *remembers she's Catholic* which I repented for

[Seinfeld Current Day @Seinfeld2000]

GEORGE: she called me MID! elaine im not mid, am i?

ELAINE: well .. youre not max

GEORGE: oh my god i'm mid

JERRY: you know i dated a mid once

GEORGE: for how long?

JERRY: about a min

[Americana at Brand Memes @americanamemes]

I can't believe this is true!

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

elaine suddenly has a long-standing medical claim approved and then gets her cable issue fixed by saying “someone should really do something about people like you” while talking to customer service.

kramer gets arrested for using a citibike for a morning bike ride.

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

seinfeld episode where george has the same jacket as the guy who shot the ceo and vaguely alludes to being him to pick up women