Michael Mayket

Once killed a bear using only my teeth!

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

@classicblanco That typo in my final sentence will haunt me forever.

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

@classicblanco As explained back in S01 (and other seasons with a final 2) when Kelly won the final challenge: Rich can only vote for Rudy & Rudy can only vote for Rich because you can’t vote for yourself & Kelly has immunity so Rich and Rudy cancel each other our and only Kelly votes.

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

@Viata1364 @thedailybeast He’s probably the biggest comic on earth right now. Or, was until this stupidity.

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

So, I purchased 6 pounds of earthworm poop that was just delivered. To me 6 pounds of earthworm poop sounded like a lot of earthworm poop. It is not. 6 pounds lof earthworm poop is not very much earthworm poop at all so now I gotta go somewhere and buy some more earthworm poop.

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

They’re dropping fast now!

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

@vpmattsaxe Bumblebee

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

They claimed, dubiously, they couldn’t help us themselves to correct their mistakes and advised us on what actions to take, which we did, and then confirmed their mistakes as correct. I know people out there have way worse problems than this, but anyway AMEX sucks. The end.

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

Last summer while we were planning a trip my wife applied for the @AmericanExpress Delta Skymiles card because it offered the first bag free for each person flying. We took our trip, had a great time, and when we got back AMEX charged us $40 for each of our bags.

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

Anyway, we opened disputes with the 3 major bureaus and AMEX replied to each dispute saying the information was accurate. Which is not true as we never owed them $2.00. Charging us $80 was their mistake. Only reversing $78 of the $80 we never owed them was also their mistake.

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

We contacted AMEX 2 more times and were told they have NO ONE in their company who can correct credit reports and we would need to dispute it with the bureaus. I find this dubious as I used to work at a major creditor in my youth and part of my job was correcting credit reports.

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

Then they started reporting my wife delinquent for the $2 we never owed them for two months and then closed the account which had a crazy affect on her credit dropping her like 200 points.

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

We disputed this and AMEX reversed $39 of each $40 charge leaving us with a balance of $2. We attempted to dispute this as well, but got no response.

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

ICE just released a new press release I made up.

#FuckICE

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

Venezuela will make a nice little starter country for Junior.

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

Over/Under on how long it will take him to rebrand Citgo as Trump Gas?

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

@hell_line0 I opened a jar for my wife’s aunt just like five or six weeks ago.

[Michael Mayket @michaelmayket]

The craziest person in Fight Club is the guy who says, "Can I be next?" after watching Tyler punch himself repeatedly in the face outside of the bar.