I wrote a book.
I wrote it because I see so many men lament the lack of community & comradely IRL, both for themselves & their kids and they don't know how to fix it.
This is how.
Link to the book in bio.
I'm not a big spender, but it's good to support creative endeavors of good people.
I've gotten cologne from @adam_ebberts, books from @BrettWCain and @MichaelVBarham (and, soon, @michaelperrone!), Deseret flags, aprons, and rocking t-shirts from @nauvoosupply...
Support frens.
The 1950s were the death throes of American family life where comfort, consumerism, and quiet disconnection were taking hold.
Michael Perrone’s book, Only the Weird Will Survive argues we can’t time-travel back to a myth. Real strength for men and families today demands something intentionally weirder.
The most important thing a millennial family can do for their kids is:
1. Move to a neighborhood w/ enough young families
2. Get involved in school, church and sports
3. Let the kids 'off the leash' enough i.e. play outside w/o you having to be there the whole time
4. Invite people over to your house constantly...
This has changed our social life dramatically in just 2 years where we have many friends + our kids do too
***
#1. You must move to an area that is family centric and has young families. Do as much on-the-ground research you can of every neighborhood to figure this out.
Be willing to overspend if needed
#2. Be a part of the school as a parent whether PTA or volunteering . Do the same at church and your kids sports. People who 'lead' or 'coach' meet a lot of people very fast. Bleacher parents have a harder road.
#3. Be willing to let your kids explore the neighborhood, go knock on doors, etc. Sure, schedule some playdates, but make sure they've also met all the similar-aged kids in the neighborhood. Go to the pool in the summer and talk to people
#4. You must invite people. Those who connect people are the most magnetic. People want to be around those folks. Open your home even if it's a little messy. Doesn't need to be fancy. Order pizza for a group, people will love it.
Invite different groups over. One group is from church, another is sports parents, etc. Combine the groups at the holidays so people can meet other new folks.
This is how you build a community for your kids to thrive in.
It took us 8 years from having a kid to figure it out.
BONUS --- have more than 1 kid. Multiple kids expands your circle even more as it opens more doors to meeting new families.
How quickly we forget the pre-internet information landscape. I don't remember not knowing about JS's polygamy specifically, but I remember adults at church (and teachers at school) authoritatively saying lots of things that I found out years later were not true. Just part of growing up.
We’re going to get get every possible permutation of a Star Wars Sequel trilogy. We’re going to get new seasons of MASH, Columbo, All in the Family, I Love Lucy with all the original actors. After every episode of the new Harry Potter TV show airs, we’re going to get 100 versions of “how it should’ve happened” and “wouldn’t it be cool if” and endless AI parodies.
We’ll pine for the days when real people used to make dancing tiktoks.
Even if you didn't know, I'm not sure why it's a big deal. Polygamy was very open to the world and to history for 40+ years. Why should it be this earth shattering thing if Joseph Smith also did the same thing as Brigham Young, John Taylor, Lorenzo Snow and Wilford Woodruff, etc.
4 years ago I launched a retail brand for Latter-day Saints
3 years ago I helped 4 LDS musicians launch their discographies online
2 years ago I launched a book publishing company
Last year I helped a magazine startup launch their retail channel
But sometimes the headwinds of being a startup make me feel pretty invisible
In the chatter of being mad about DW or the Blaze, I’d like to have a conversation - a serious one - about about what it would take.
If you want LDS content that isn’t backed by boardroom investors or evangelicals who loathe you, you ought to look around because we’re out here.
I didn’t start this to cash out in my 30s. I’m investing in this in my 50s because I can. Because I want it to exist.
Artists, musicians, writers, and designers wanted.
"Oh no, my kid won't make varsity in high school!"
I loved playing sports as a kid, all the way through high school and on intramural teams in college. But sports are for kids, not kids for the sport.
Bad news, dude:
If your kid doesn’t play travel/AAU they have no chance of playing varsity in high school.
Only exceptions would be small, rural schools without many players to choose from.
Any decent sized high school, every kid on varsity plays travel.
@nathan_covey@josephpmbrtn Well not technically a flip but an agm m9. A dumb phone. I still keep a semi dumb iPhone around for travel, but it mostly collects dust now. Congratulations on the flip phone.
The real crisis is of desire. People cannot cultivate enough desire to make any tradeoffs. "I would do this thing if the world makes it easy for me" is the driving force behind many discussions now.
You don't want it badly enough. You shrink from the most normal hardship.
It’s not that 9-5 is prison… it’s that the way most 9-5s are structured they remove us from meaning, identity and belonging and consume a lot of our time and energy such that when a man comes home from his day job, he doesn’t have a lot left to give to family, friends, community, fraternity, etc. In that way it "feels" like prison to many.
But to the extent a 9-5 does not serve as an alienating, isolating force, to the extent it provides connection and rootedness, facilitates family and friendship, etc. then it’s probably the greatest evolution of work and wealth ever created.
I keep seeing the "9-5 is prison" takes on my tl. Here's an alternate take. Go read about people who lived during the 1300's. Absolutely horrible existence. Between bandits constantly raiding and murdering, no modern medicine, over half the population dying from the plague, constant war, it was a terrible and hopeless life.
If you are blessed enough to have a 9-5, drive home in your car, flip on the A/C, munch on Durito's while watching your favorite series after a hard day's work, you are beyond blessed and are living a life that exceeds 99% of anyone in history or alive today.
I’m so close to finishing the cover art for Only The Weird Will Survive from 40 North Press.
Biggest challenge is honoring Michael Perrone’s content while creating something a guy will pick up.
I love the secondary read that’s somewhat subtle on the cover, but made more obvious on the title page. (Too obvious?)