Michael Peruggia

He's a supersonic phenomenon. -anonymous fan

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

It's not easy being a guido in this hyper academic world

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

Why are chips in bags and not in like boxes

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

I already know what I’m giving up for lent

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

I interrupt

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

MATTIE CAN DRIVE STICK

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

And I hate learning my lesson

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

As soon as I have a kid I’m taking the kid on the duck boat

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

Garbage patch kid

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

Wait I am seriously starting to think what goes around comes around

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

Not only do I love pizza but it is the only food I can afford

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

I must say
Knock on wood
I’m pretty good at my rights and lefts

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

I’m soooooooo hufflepuff

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

That’s my clementine peeling nail

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

New plan: I’m head honcho

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

Eating an Oreo is the new eating breakfast

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

Nilay is not short he’s low riding

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

I can’t help feeling that she holds the answer to every question (Dolly Parton)

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

Mackenzie got so scared about this bug in her room before that she knocked over a plant onto her AC unit and now she put on the AC and her room smells like Home Depot and she’s crying

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

Imagine what New York City was like when everything was black & white tho

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

Did anyone like my tweet from before

[Michael Peruggia @michaelperuggia]

Sorry all my March madness group chats are blowing up rn