Michelle Blanchard Ardillo

Writer - Reader - Retired Teacher. Novel in Progress. Cajun Girl in a Kilt. Published in @the_gf_letter @HuffPost @FAMILYMagDC @Baltochild @montgomery_mag

[Michelle Blanchard Ardillo @michardillo]

Oh happy day! 1,000 followers on #twitter! Thanks to all who tune in to see what #CajunGirlinaKilt has to say! https://t.co/hu8jb4LeRH

[Christopher Webb @cwebbonline]

You gotta admit, the staffers in the background keeping it real are the best part.

[Michelle Blanchard Ardillo @michardillo]

@maddoraptor

[British Bake Off @BritishBakeOff]

And so it begins ❤️

[Michelle Blanchard Ardillo @michardillo]

@Reagan_Airport Gorgeous

[Tolkien World @TolkienWorldG]

Sir Ian McKellen at 86 expertly reciting Shakespeare last night!

[Michelle Blanchard Ardillo @michardillo]

@RheanaMurray I’ll send something to you!

[Michelle Blanchard Ardillo @michardillo]

Have acceptances/rejections gone out for the Tea Zine? Already submitted! @CoinOpPress

[Chill Subs @chillsubs]

Go get em’ folks. 500 lit mags with the fastest response times: https://t.co/OauJw6jDWo

Featured:
@scaffoldlitmag
@thedarkmagazine
@offbeatlit
@GooseberryPie99
@neologismpoetry

[Michelle Blanchard Ardillo @michardillo]

@NobelPrize 😮

[🇨🇭🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿InLucysHead🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇨🇭© @InsideLucysHead]

Tech support to the rescue...

A young woman who submitted a tech support message presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself.

The query:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf 4.1

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

The response:

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: I thought you loved me.
html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

[Michelle Blanchard Ardillo @michardillo]

@InsideLucysHead Brilliant!

[British Bake Off @BritishBakeOff]

We're delighted to announce Nigella Lawson is joining Bake Off as our new judge!

“The Great British Bake Off is more than a TV programme, it’s a National Treasure. I wish the marvellous Prue all the best & am giddily grateful for the opportunity!" – Nigella

#GBBO

[Netflix UK & Ireland @NetflixUK]

All 13 seasons of Agatha Christie's Poirot and 6 seasons of Marple are now on Netflix!

[Michelle Blanchard Ardillo @michardillo]

https://t.co/xjgnmp75xG

[Weapon 𝕏 @HellRaz0r1776]

Big weather system coming through.
Here's what we know so far.

[Michelle Blanchard Ardillo @michardillo]

Afternoon Tea anyone? https://t.co/qpGxv4haQf

[NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoContext]

I enjoyed every second of this

[Michelle Blanchard Ardillo @michardillo]

@NiallHarbison Just adopted this little cutie when his owner became to ill to care him. Only three weeks in and he has stolen our hearts!

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

'Monosyllabic' is not.
‘Abbreviation’ is 12 letters.
‘Thesaurus’ doesn’t have a synonym.
'Non-hyphenated' is hyphenated.

Say what you will about English, but it has a sense of humor.

[James Lucas @JamesLucasIT]

Christ the Redeemer above the clouds

This is the largest Art Deco–style statue in the world

[Michelle Blanchard Ardillo @michardillo]

Thanks for a great read @MarieD47403 ! https://t.co/Ehe8enhfUW #amreading #historicalfiction #egypt #valleyofthekings