Michelle Johnson

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

I’m about to post on the Next Door app to get someone to help me out of my romper

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

@theintlfiles

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

@celly_speaks No but i saw it on top of my neighbors garbage bin 😂

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy (hank), asking him if i already fed him dinner.

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

THATS THE SEATTLE KRAKEN BABYYYYYY!!!!

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

Nick Cannon hasn’t had a baby in a while come to think of it

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

For a few precious weeks a year there is something in my life more fucked up than my love life - my NCAA bracket.

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

@ Men : why have I seen so many of your butt cracks?

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

Hungry.

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

What is YOUR word??

(a word you use more than the average human)

Dibs rules apply.

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

Ur not my Man until you buy me a nerds rope

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

@tessanora But let’s not forget the 3rd point - these are not mutually exclusive

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

*slams laptop shut til 2052*

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

All I do is eat, sleep and break wine glasses

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

PSA - if we have slept together I’m BEGGING you to not text me merry Christmas tomorrow

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

Tell me why dogs communicate better than men and they literally cannot speak.

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

@brianterada EEMLJJKhuda

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

I need a roommate who i can harass at midnight when i can’t sleep but also am i just describing a bf?

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

I’ll consider having a wedding just so everyone can roast me.

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

Earlier I thought of the funniest Tik Tok to make. Two problems:
1. I don’t make tik toks
2. I forgot what it is

[Michelle Johnson @michellejohn10]

The only man I’ve been involved with lately is Scrub Daddy