michelle

Rapscallion.

[michelle @michellelandis_]

Orgy brunch - first cum, first served.

[michelle @michellelandis_]

I’m bringing the whale tail back. But I exclusively wear high waisted pants so these whales are gonna have to make a big breach.

[michelle @michellelandis_]

@KarenKilgariff He’s perfect emo boi 15/10 would jump into LA oncoming traffic to protect him. Not to be dramatic.

[Reductress @Reductress]

Quadruple Threat! Barbra Streisand Has a Knife: https://t.co/vVYLEsOYyS

[michelle @michellelandis_]

An ice cream shop called “Lick It & Split”….why doesn’t this exist?

[michelle @michellelandis_]

@jzux

[michelle @michellelandis_]

please put me out of my misery (business)

[Zoë Ligon @thongria]

I refuse to stop saying things are “two thousand late”

[michelle @michellelandis_]

ACAB also includes him

[Claud @claudmp3]

I am $20 sun, true blue moon and emily I’m sorry rising

[The Chicks @thechicks]

Wide Open Spaces was released 25 years ago today! ♥️
https://t.co/ffQVgB3HOT

[michelle @michellelandis_]

If Ne-Yo went blind he’d be a Ne-Yo Not See

[michelle @michellelandis_]

Did you even go to Trader Joe’s if you didn’t almost get into 14 of the slowest but most aggressive car accidents of your life in their parking lot?

[michelle @michellelandis_]

@KevinMenesez Hahahah IMPOSSIBLE 🥖🍞🥐

[michelle @michellelandis_]

Ever eat carbs too fast you throw up? Because same.

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

i have never wanted a “partner in crime” have always just wanted a “partner in errands” - just come to CVS w me, we don’t have to rob it

[michelle @michellelandis_]

Ubers either smell like Smarties or farts being covered up by Axe Body Spray there is no in between

[Steven Ray Morris @StevenRayMorris]

@phoebe_bridgers ┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
╱╱╭╮╲╲house
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
Listen to “Silk Chiffon” by
@whereisMUNA on repeat
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

[Ben Wexler @mrbenwexler]

“Shooting victims in Oklahoma couldn’t get treated because the ER was full of people who’d taken Ivermectin” may be the most American sentence I’ve ever read

[Chris Schleicher @cschleichsrun]

I want to become famous enough that when I die, my house gets turned into a little museum that no one really enjoys.