Michelle March

Comedy, equality and things that end in Y

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

@ElayneBoosler Hahaha

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

This morning I was craving French Toast and was wondering where I should eat. Then I thought to myself, I should MAKE them here at home.
That might be how every Meth lab starts

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

A woman who wanted to date me told me she was a foodie. I said that's great because I'm looking for a cook..ie

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

My feelings regarding Margot Robbie and Greta Gerwig being left out of Oscar nominations is what I imagine Dallas Cowboy fans feel. Except it was the Cowboys' fault.

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

@anylaurie16 Hahaha

[Michael Moore @MMFlint]

Standing with our Jewish brothers & sisters who are screaming NOT IN OUR NAME! Last night, thousands of Jewish New Yorkers & their allies held a massive civil disobedience sit-in at Grand Central Station demanding an immediate ceasefire. #LetGazaLive #CeaseFireNow @jvpliveNY

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

The humanitarian situation in Gaza is dire, and getting worse by the minute. Israel must obey international law and allow innocent men, women, and children the food, water, medical supplies, and fuel that is desperately needed. NOW.

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

I start my morning gratitude list with thank you for my beautiful bed, thank you for my beautiful house and then immediately go into "this is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife!" Damn you, Talking Heads!

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

I also did not date Matt Gaetz

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

Killer lineup at Akbar for Drunk On Stage this Tuesday, September 12! Wash your A$$ and be there for Erin's Birthday Show!

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

Trump weighs 215. Would someone get me one of those scales for my birthday

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

The weather forcasters are starting to use "It feels like" for temperatures instead of the ACTUAL TEMPERATURES.
Is this like it's a slipper, but it tastes like chicken

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

The weather forecasters are starting to use "It feels like" temperatures instead of the ACTUAL temperatures! "It feels like" movie, 3 words, starts with WTF

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

During the hurriquake, my outdoor plants quickly grew leaves and flowers.
My first thought was What, don't I feed you?

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

I'm not breathing well at night.
I may have to use a cpap machine.
On second thought, I'll just breathe during the daytime.

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

Don't miss this lineup!

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

My weekend consists of me trying to figure out what I'm going to tell my therapist at my next appointment.

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

In this political climate, it must be hard for dog groomers. Sorry, Fido, I'm now called the Dog Launderer.

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

San Pedro! Come on out, Friday, June 16!

[Michelle March @MichMarchComic]

If Donald J. Trump and others got the punishment they propose on other criminals, they should ask to be waterboarded and sent to Guantanamo Bay.