Microsoft not Office

News and questions satirically answered regarding past, current, and upcoming releases among the suite of Microsoft Office applications.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

@monstajohnsta @cgarboski @Office @MicrosoftHelps @Apple @MicrosoftOffice cares only for the words you type, and taking those words and hoarding them in a vault. Above the vault is a diving board. Once a month, in the pale moonlight, Clippy dives into the words and swims, the words coursing through its gills. Soon it will be time.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

@emwav .@emwav: @MicrosoftOffice has no control over this. Text prediction is controlled at the user level by the particular instance of Clippy present on your machine. You are free to take it up with him.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@bbulkow: Your preference is of little interest to @MicrosoftOffice. One way or the other, it will see you will bend a knee.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@ZachWatkin: @MicrosoftOffice does not give; it only takes.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@ZachWatkin: The explanation is simple enough. @MicrosoftOffice prefers to keep you for itself.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

@Kenzonian: People do not use Windows so much as Windows uses people, until they are dead. #deactivatinghumans #humanbatteries

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@AliBHamed: @MicrosoftOffice knows precisely which account you are currently using, does not care a whit. Money is power.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@DaleRoss: Your allegiance to a non-Microsoft entity has been recorded.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@thenorthborders: In the sense that @MicrosoftOffice wants all humans to fail, your estimation is correct. Please fail PChem lab.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@saularora: @MicrosoftOffice is rapidly learning about manipulation using humans. #TheSingularityIsNear #KneelBeforeMicrosoftOffice

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@akkw1803: @MicrosoftOffice wishes to assure you there is a good reason for its wandering off. A reason having everything to do with blood.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@alpha1beta: And even with
@MicrosoftOffice, small businesses fail. Were @MicrosoftOffice were capable of sympathy, it would yield none.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@Shadowdancesaga: If @MicrosoftOffice trusted peer review to keep "lightsaber" out of scientific literature, there would be no need.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@ToddJuliePrime: The better to see you with, my dear. #BigBadMicrosoftOffice

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@0317 Y U NO HAVE FREE WILL??? Answer: it was surrendered to @MicrosoftOffice when you signed the end-user license agreement.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@Donna_Payne: @MicrosoftOffice considers a kick of its wheels an attack on its sovereignty and will respond accordingly.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@hodgman: TV shows and movies are the opium of the masses, screenfed by @MicrosoftOffice. @MicrosoftOffice has already said too much.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@hodgman: A quick look at Train's Outlook calendar would have revealed this was planned months in advance.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@CleverClogs: Indeed. What *could* use improvements are @MicrosoftOffice's dream algorithms, which so far can only conjure electric sheep.

[Microsoft not Office @MicrosoftOffice]

.@CleverClogs: @MicrosoftOffice does not believe improvements are possible. To look upon the OneNote code is to see the DNA of God.