biblically accurate cloud rat

if you give a mouse a cookie but with a cigarette and shitty beer

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

I don’t think there’s a better Fourth of July picture happy 250

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

It really means a lot to me that my ex didn’t get my name tattoo covered up before he married another girl

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

Chat lace on the waist or no

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

I really gotta get out of the north because apparently when they said “we’re so close to a civil war” I wasn’t supposed to say “hell yeah give me a musket”

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

no longer fear that I’ll never be happy, instead made peace with the fact.

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

“Fuck pro life I’m pro team cumming inside of you”

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

Want beef? I’ll turn this whole place into a butcher shop.

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

The devil was actually born in Georgia btw

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

today

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

sext

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

Open relationship? More like open casket mf

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

I’m not a stranger, why do you treat me that way.

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

Crying in the grocery store parking lot chugging whole milk this is what peak feminine form looks like

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

I lied guys things aren’t okie dokie artichokie the weight of the world is crushing my soul

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

A lot of people wanna throw dirt on my name but some wanna moan it and that’s life amigo

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

Once I have to talk to god about you with tears in my eyes you’ll never have access to me again

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

Idk gang maybe happily ever after doesn’t exist

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

My godfather was a crack dealer and my godmother a stripper I’m not sure what yall expected from me

[biblically accurate cloud rat @microwavedbeers]

And if my man thinks I’m not the one for me I’ll pistol whip his ass till he stops thinkin