kyguy

We didn't come here to make friends, we came here to fall in love.

[kyguy @midleader]

I spent my childhood thinking heartburn was a mindset and now I’m being punished for it

[kyguy @midleader]

On a mushroom side quest where I like everyone’s insta story

[kyguy @midleader]

I wish these cats could have martinis with me

[kyguy @midleader]

Freelanced enough this month to pay for all my parking tickets. Broke even with girl math

[kyguy @midleader]

When I die some weird huge bitch with huge feet is gonna win the lottery shopping my estate sale

[kyguy @midleader]

When I see a 2011 white Honda civic that hasn’t had her hub caps stolen yet I do get jealous

[kyguy @midleader]

Brow lady did not put me on her Instagram. Don’t call don’t text.

[kyguy @midleader]

Congrats to cream cheese on its special day

[kyguy @midleader]

When you can shut your brain off around him but then you’re always around him and now u have no thoughts and ur stupid

[kyguy @midleader]

Do u guys wanna come over and try my moms pepper jelly it’s pretty good

[kyguy @midleader]

Just saw someone say Pantone color of the year looks like adderall lfg

[kyguy @midleader]

Neighbors across the street that I can see into their living room moved out, (the hot couple™️). New single man in there, gotta start new lore.

[kyguy @midleader]

$225 jacket could fix me

[kyguy @midleader]

Slow decent into madness October™️ also everything is 50% off at target for some reason I got a bunch of wine hence part one of this tweet

[kyguy @midleader]

Starting a new thread of the best line of every sopranos episode is. Unfortunately I got this idea as I’m starting season 3, might do something retroactive to assess this. I do however remember this banger from season 1, episode 1 to start us off.

AJ: What, so no fucking ziti?

[kyguy @midleader]

Gaylor swift

[kyguy @midleader]

Kewpie Mayo could get me on the dance floor

[kyguy @midleader]

I went to school for a fake email job but I accidentally got a job that isn’t fake and there’s no emails there’s only slack and if I don’t get a thumbs up every second I think I’m getting fired

[kyguy @midleader]

Lucky girl syndrome status: over
Incident report: stepped on a bee (???)

[kyguy @midleader]

My job is just…nudes