jordan

matters of the heart

[jordan @midw1t]

how can it be a “hate crime” if i’m having so much fun

[jordan @midw1t]

drunk on the vibe
cause i live for the night
not a care in my mind

[jordan @midw1t]

some of my female friends getting a little too excited when i joke about TRT making me bisexual

[jordan @midw1t]

in some southern california enclaves, there’s an ostensively personal responsibility to be beautiful

[jordan @midw1t]

a slight sunburn on the first beach day is the real secret to a summer tan

[jordan @midw1t]

i am born and raised 4th generation californian but i have a midwest personality

[jordan @midw1t]

@croppedshot it’s shandy summer

[jordan @midw1t]

@kaliyugawarlord happy birthday say it back 🤝

[jordan @midw1t]

@ADAMER1CAN kill one, put it up somewhere as a warning to the rest

[jordan @midw1t]

all men who are “squeamish” should be forcibly transitioned

[jordan @midw1t]

it’s important for me to get a good pump in before work so my grandma patients can pat my arms and call me handsome.

[jordan @midw1t]

85°F, sweaty wifebeater, 4" inseam shorts, single leg RDLs in the sun for white boy summer

[jordan @midw1t]

@EatinGorgonzala gotta breath dawg

[jordan @midw1t]

“nobody ever got fat eating too many berries” tell that to him

[jordan @midw1t]

@jamesthe2nd3 i go at the same time every day. they all need to get real jobs

[jordan @midw1t]

feeling engorged in new york city

[jordan @midw1t]

“would you ever have a lavender marriage” no i literally hate women

[jordan @midw1t]

back in the gym after a week away + a week of pneumonia = debating which resistance band will most reliably snap my neck