Popeye’s Sax Chicken

run lift golf walk sun

[Popeye’s Sax Chicken @MiikeJayBee]

@dfossier Fair enough!

[Popeye’s Sax Chicken @MiikeJayBee]

@HankFrank What’s your strength routine?

[Popeye’s Sax Chicken @MiikeJayBee]

@bryce_koon @Cauble Get a large marg you coward

[Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal]

5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?

me: no, there's no oxygen

5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?

me: then yes

5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?

me: then no

5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?

me: is someone paying you to do this?

[Gwart @GwartyGwart]

Flight attendant comes over intercom: “your flight is oversold, I need two volunteers to take a flight this afternoon for a $300 voucher.”

I spring into action. I was born for these moments. This is why I studied game theory. Literal tingles. I pull out my megaphone and address our boarding gate: “guys, they absolutely must off board at least two passengers or this bird isn’t taking off. Every 3 minutes they will increase their bid by $200. If we all hold out for 45 more minutes, 2 of us can make nearly 5 grand each. Textbook prisoners dilemma, this is (3,3) in its most visceral representation. I’m not even going to give up my ticket but I know value when I see value. Let’s make Nash proud ladies and gentlemen. Do not acquiesce. Do not defect.”

Anyhow 2 people immediately accepted $500 and I called them retards on my megaphone and was placed in a detention room by airport police. This is why we study game theory.

[Derrick Evans @DerrickEvans4WV]

This old woman won a free t-shirt and they delivered it to her by shooting her with it at point blank range 😳

[Popeye’s Sax Chicken @MiikeJayBee]

Suck my ass

[Ari Wasserman @AriWasserman]

Aging poorly: LSU is the No. 1 team in the country because it beat Clemson on the road.

Aging well: Florida State is actually good and Alabama isn't as bad as we think.

Truth: Nobody knows anything and this is the best sport in the world.

[Tom Fornelli @TomFornelli]

No, no, you don't get it. They get on a bus. In uniform. Then drive around for a little bit. Then they run down a hill. It's electric.

[owen cyclops @owenbroadcast]

zoology is the study of animals. so what is the study of zoos? does not exist. you cant do it, because the name is taken. every day young men show up to “zoology” classes hoping to learn about ticket prices, benches, what animals cluster aesthetically - and we let them rot there.

[stack of chairs @stackofbears]

The squirrel has no well-founded reason to run from me, but it does. The robin, too, takes flight if I just amble by. Yet here foolhardy waits the burger, beneath my growing shadow

[David Nola @DavidMora]

First day of Spring on St. Charles Avenue! 🌞🌸⚜️💐🌳 #NewOrleans #SpringEquinox

[Jeremy Herbert @DDayFilms]

"Do not, my friends, become addicted to sleeping with the fan on. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence."

[Chief Chainsaw Officer @Hispeedlowdrug]

My rooster died in glorious single combat at the door of the coop, protecting the flock from a red tailed hawk. He was a noisy pain in the ass, but his did us all proud in the end.

[Popeye’s Sax Chicken @MiikeJayBee]

@taggartvanetten Awesome! How many bike sessions a week do you do to get to 7 hours?

[Witch @Space_Bunzzz]

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

the moon will be taking poison damage tonight

[Popeye’s Sax Chicken @MiikeJayBee]

. @JoeA_NFL Will Levis would’ve won this game, right?