mike

the feature’s dead, angela. don’t bring it up again.

[mike @mikachu_15]

drop your favorite orc mine is the catapult guy

[Seth Pollack @sethmpk]

Also turning on notifications for Azealia Banks just to cover my bases here

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

this is bye sister for white supremacists

[Melvin Doo @_MattinIowa]

Tyler Roney but every time he adds a high school girl on Snapchat his hair gets taller

[mike @mikachu_15]

@LiquidLo ahem

[don @katelosten]

DON’T tell me not to live just sit and putter!

[mike @mikachu_15]

my uber driver totally captivated me with hotel Transylvania 2 this is unfair

[vids that go hard @vidsthatgohard]

Zack and Cody can finally eat at their table after 15 YEARS

[mike @mikachu_15]

why haven’t we heard from vince vaughn. what’s happening

[mike @mikachu_15]

and i’ll say it again

[mike @mikachu_15]

The scariest thing about Halloween is rent being due the next day

[mike @mikachu_15]

@1nnnnterest1ng i had to name a fun fact about myself in front of the class and i said i was a published journalist in my hometown’s newspaper. i said it with my whole chest. i said it like i won a pulitzer. i’m pretty sure i paused for applause

[mike @mikachu_15]

just remembered something i said during an icebreaker my freshman year of college and literally gagged

[mike @mikachu_15]

2 years ago i got covid so i had to celebrate halloween by myself in my apartment. i put on my costumes and got so h*gh off 1/4 of an edible that i had to breathe manually

[mike @mikachu_15]

me before the function reminding myself not to do the john mulaney impression or the rex kwon do impression or the british socialite impression or the ace ventura impression or the voldemort impression or the kermit impre

[mike @mikachu_15]

he sent me a leon bridges song someone get a fucking stretcher

[mike @mikachu_15]

@seewrongbee me and your dad

[mike @mikachu_15]

i hope you eat but it will not be at my table

[mike @mikachu_15]

i beat out 8 other candidates and i start monday. sorry you aren’t me!!!!!

[mike @mikachu_15]

waiting to hear back from this job is literally making me ill

[King Slayyyyer 💅🦹 @DaDookersSeth]

Me popping out of the truck window too high to know what’s going on

[mike @mikachu_15]

i was so real for this

[mike @mikachu_15]

the quickest way to piss a man off is to tell them you don’t like the movie the prestige