Mike P(retty cool)

please let me play you some phish

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

@dieworkwear @_NatalieWould those are his mom’s boots from when she was a baby.

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

@Kollerkunzultz @dieworkwear https://t.co/iwWKhTQYy7

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

if you pronounce it ralph lauREN, you're a big dumbdumb. dudes a jewish guy from the bronx and it ISN'T EVEN HIS REAL LAST NAME.

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

strollers in coffee shops should be illegal

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

my 30s can be summed up to arguing with my dog on the irrationality of wanting to go lay on the balcony when it's 90+ degrees out because he's gonna get too hot and want to come inside in 3 minutes. then when he does come back in i rub it in his face. it's not so bad.

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

today I saw someone spell menace “mennus” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it.

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

To those of you who eat red apples, what’s wrong with you?

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

New York is driving me insane

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

there is nothing more infuriating than looking at real estate listings

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

@ry_storm this is embarrassing

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

didn’t anyone ever think to just close camp crystal lake? because of the yearly mass murders? with no suspect in custody?

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

Our signage sure is somethin

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

@PhishPhashion Let’s get him into some Wythe

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

visibility matters

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

wife: this phish song has to be over soon, right?

me:

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

@adamm0rgan Adam

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

I feel like too many adults I know who don’t have kids are talking a lot about “back to school”

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

looking in the mirror at phish setbreak

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

it’s fun to just do the same things in paris that we do in ny

[Mike P(retty cool) @mike_parenti]

consistently amazed by what streaming apps will throw into their comedy section. like yeah I guess face/off could be considered funny but come on.