Mike Baltodano

what you think of me is none of my business

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

I love when girls say “you probably can’t handle me”. Okay Stephanie, I’m sure you can lay on your back WAYY better than anyone else.

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

5M retweets I’ll eat my shorts if the leafs lose the cup

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

Watching the game with my boys @RyanMcDonnelll @Adam782 #dontsnitch

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

I’m done with 2020. Might start pre drinking for NYE now

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

@baaarrd Imagine your poop flushes right out in the water

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

Amazon is having a sale on red solo cups so I might just wipe my ass with those

[James @CaucasianJames]

doing my taxes. this better get me on the fucking ellen show

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

How about some Black Friday deals on gas.

[silky johnson @tarebutton]

nobody:

gmail when you sign in from an unauthorized device:

[James @CaucasianJames]

once instagram gets rid of likes i’m posting 3 selfies a day idgaf

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

I said it once and I’ll say it again, it’s cool that’s weed is legal but bring back tinder social...

[James @CaucasianJames]

u don’t have to chug the beer man. drink it as fast as u would like. i’ll be ur friend either way

[SwagBoyQ @Theswagboyq]

So I tried this challenge on my dad and I can’t believe this actually happened

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

@Adam782 Sure I’ll go too Dominican jail again

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

Does anyone know someone who makes fake ID’s??!
For Costco tho

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

Telling a dangerously over weight person not too lose weight bc they are beautiful is like telling an alcoholic not too stop drinking bc they’re fun

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

Dating me is like finding out the song you always skipped is actually fire

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

I just wanna piss of a substitute teacher with my boys one last time

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

Cleaning out your vacuum cleaner makes you the Vacuum Cleaner 🤯

[Mike Baltodano @mikebaltodano]

@wmnylander @MapleLeafs Don’t get too comfortable...