Mike Drimba

I'll bring joy to your life one pun at a time.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

@dandrimba "I have a very sexy learning disability... what is it called again Kif?" "Ugh... sexlexia"

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

I like to pretend I'm popular, but I only have one friend. He's my sole mate.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

I met a geology major the other day. She seems gniess.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

I'm trying so hard to baby proof my house, but they keep getting in.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

Did you guys hear about the dude who got hit in the head with a soda? Luckily it was a soft drink.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

How does the pope pay for eBay purchases? Praypal.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

People should really use chromosomes in advertisements more, sex cells.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should win a nobell prize.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

Would incestuous fondling be considered kindling?

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

I think batman is the most batass superhero.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

My friend sold me a broken fridge... Not cool.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

Running low on spices, have to restock them soon. There's not much thyme left!

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

I hear NASA is having a party next Saturnday. They're gonna planet over launch.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

Why does the NSA hate igloos? They're technically snow dens.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

I'm gonna open a US president themed bar. It'll be called Abraham Drinkin.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

I guess Amish women fantasize about two Mennonite.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

I'm trying to build an automated contraption to grow herbs. It'll be the worlds first thyme machine.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

I went to a French high school. I used to get beat up by all the Jacques.

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

Tried to use "mymuscles" as a password once, but the site told me it was too weak :(

[Mike Drimba @mikedrimba]

I saw an ant with long legs, so I squished it. My policy is zero taller ants.