Michael F

Coward Twitch mod for Steven Suptic, Dumbdog, and 5up

[🏛 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 🏛 @nonregemesse]

I’ve just walked out of the Odyssey.

I didn’t know The Rock was even in it and I found the singing very off-putting. Felt like a kid’s film more than anything

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

Just saw The Odyssey, I loved it but was really surprised it featured so many Minions. Not saying it’s bad or inaccurate. I’m aware of its oral history, so there’s no way to know Homer didn’t include Minions. But it was like 98% Minions. Didn’t even mention Odysseus.

[Rakeem “Doesn’t Celebrate” Christmas, M.D. @GoCuse2013]

Absolutely despicable drip from the lads at chick-fil-A today. #mypleasure

[meredith 🍉 @dietz_meredith]

this parasite is no joke, i have all the symptoms, it was able to get me even though ive eaten nothing but salt n vinegar chips for the past 72 hours

[Officer Martinez ➐ @CBMovieFan]

Not a fan of Spider-Man's new ability to turn into soda cans, will just have to wait and see how it's used in the movie

[Philly Sports Sufferer @mccrystal_alex]

The Mets gave up a devastating 3 run homer and the broadcast cuts to Norwegian fans having the time of their life and dancing

LOLMETS

[steph @steph_mcca]

girls trip!!!!!! Me and my girl cat were in the living room and now we are in the kitchen

[jack @Jolly_Olive]

Happy Pride Month

[Austin Lieberman @LiebermanAustin]

Thanks to the @oasishealthapp I’ve switched from poisonous FairLife Protein Milk to Bourbon and I can’t even begin to explain how much healthier I feel.

[matt @mattybtweets69]

Had a few nights like this

[¿ @umlarp]

doing a line of hope

[Chase Passive Income @chasedownleads]

Mothers Day brunch is completely unaffordable now

What the hell happened to this country?

[coolguy15 @boomhotdog2]

a porn bot just dmed me and their profile picture is of a woman i accidently killed by dropping a roof shingle on her head 8 years ago

[Allie @searobbing]

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING: fever, fatigue, muscle aches, dizziness, chills, vomiting, headaches, bleeding eyes, bleeding lungs etc. THEN IT IS YOUR DUTY TO GET ON A PLANE RIGHT NOW!!! GO TO AN AIRPORT AND START LICKING PEOPLE’S MOUTHS!!! THEIR SALIVA IS YOUR SALIVA!!!

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

conversations in the comments here are all very beautiful

[Image Every May 9 @May9Image]

any. new bags yo’ure working on @Ziploc

[John Kennedy @FrazzleMyGimp]

“wait a second… Heat rises” (it hits me) “heat rises!”

Bank teller on floor: what?

“Heat rises!”

(I rush at the armed robber and he shoots me in the face killing me instantly. It’s unclear what my plan was)

[onionweigher 🧅⚖️ @onionweigher]

COMING SOON:

[Milk Ape 🦍 @milk__ape]

one time ape watch giant boulder completely flatten monkey at base of cliff side. No blood no sound instant death

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

I should