mikey

stream of consciousness

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

Larry King is dead…isn’t he?

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

Just found out my zio has been putting honey in his hair as a substitute for hair gel/paste… bro about to get swarmed

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

Call me Canadian the way she milkin my bag

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

Raisin Bran is just Lucky Charms for a more sophisticated ilk.

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

Shout out to this dude in my class named Kirellos. Every instinct he has is wrong. Every answer he has falls short. Every plan he makes falls to pieces. Truly an inspiration to guys trying to roll with the punches

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

I’m like if Mike Ehrmantrout was sexy

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

I’m unironically the meme of that guy listening to mitski while he works out

[Star Wars @starwars]

@FinleyM95528333 1. Queer characters existing isn’t political

2. Star WARS is literally in our name

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

Everyone on social media turns into a millennial on Christmas. You know exactly what I’m talking about.

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

My 4 year old cousin just called a laptop a “puter” and honestly she’s so real for that

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

Every once in a while I remember how ferociously I despise ventriloquists. My family specifically stopped watching America’s Got Talent back in the day because a ventriloquist won two years in a row. For some reason Americans love puppets. Let’s be real guys

[no context curb your enthusiasm @ProManimalUnity]

happy anniversary to larry’s essay on why he hates christmas

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

Everything would be different if I was Mumford & Son…

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

Not my radioactive ass waking up to ash and dust🤣🤣🤣

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

I don’t care that you’re a “bad bitch.” Push back your cuticles.

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

There was a time in my life when I was saying the phrase “sick nasty” so often that I felt it necessary to shorten it to “sick-nast.” That’s the kind of person I was.

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

All these cutie patootie bisexuals want me because I remind them of a woman idk

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

Good Afternoon,

I hope this message finds you in good health. As per my last email, I’m really going to need those tasteful screenshots of your boobies by the end of the week. Management is really on me about this, so I’m on a tight deadline here. Please get back to me ASAP. Thx

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

Yeah okay buddy you got eeevvvrybody in here thinking you’re perfectly normal but I know you were a part of Operation Paperclip. I don’t know what role you played in it I just know you did. Quite frankly

[mikey @mikeybraintime]

Those few minutes when I just get out of the shower before I have to get dressed are ripe for contemplation. Is Josh Hutcherson succumbing to the same “big head-ification” as Leo DiCaprio or has his melon always been that disproportionate?