one of uhtred’s wives

[⚚Sage @belikesagee]

twitter is cigarette for the eyes

[𝔙𝔞𝔪𝔭 @bIoodFr4ak]

“cite your source” the crows told me

[cuckold jones @cuckcat]

asking my boss if i can go play outside

[cassia the weathergirl ⛈️ @mousepuppyy]

when you right click copy and paste something does it ever feel like your mouse is pregnant with information. or is that just me

[danlet @evildanevil]

I wish a woodchuck would

[CHA$E @jehovahsflyest]

i see why joe killed everybody he liked

[zuzu ⟡.· @kaitzey]

i am at my clits end

[acquired hell boy @crybbfannypack]

“whose pussy is this?” do you know the muffin man?

[buth’s hole @warm__hole]

I did that because I’m insane. Next question

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

i have read the room and decided to completely disassociate

[miia @miiagarro]

and for the lady, perhaps an entire week of existing without any responsibilities

[jainormis @jainormis]

gun to your bush

[garshmo @garshmo]

I need you to be on your baldest behavior

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

who up siphoning gas

[Soleil @soleiljolina]

I’m trying to have a good time despite knowing facts and information

[Acid House Hospital @darkmusick_]

white people be like this song was on tony hawk's pro skater

[Libriscent @libriscent]

And for the neurodivergent lady, perhaps the same comfort show you've seen 100 times

[Dubzy @DubzyOnceAgain]

Maybe your baby is crying because it wants a cigarette

[$ @2xsam_]

Me after being at work for 1 hour.

[Leo Gao @nabla_theta]

"twin", "king", "queen"... why are the youths calling each other mattress sizes