That One

40+. Married. Midlife crisis. NSFW 18+. Not your Crush, don't want a TC. Here until it no longer feels fun. DMs are fine, badgering for a reply is not.

[That One @milfomatica]

Accidentally deleted my pinned tweet so let's put it back...

Old lady likes attention

[That One @milfomatica]

I heard a rumour that Wednesdays are for willies, is that true?

[That One @milfomatica]

It's impossible to have big biceps and be well hung... Prove me wrong 😇😏

[That One @milfomatica]

@HalTheBlade I'm still a little on edge around swans as a grown up 🤣

[That One @milfomatica]

Not been sent anything sinful this Sunday, are you even trying any more?

[That One @milfomatica]

Never in a millions years thought I'd have to add AC to the muted list, but here we are.

[Joel Spriggs @joelspriggs]

good morning

[That One @milfomatica]

Not even a blue tick, just thick as fuck for the love of the game

[Alyse @mrs_alyse]

The Brits actually have laws keeping people from fully opening their windows.

A new level of ridiculous.

They aren't allowed to open their own windows.

[That One @milfomatica]

sun has me wiped out. bath time, so slide in if you want and I'll reply when I'm out*

*fall asleep instead
**fall asleep before I make it to the bath
*** I might be asleep now

[That One @milfomatica]

what actually is this though? Is he rotting away?

[bunty @worldsbesthunta]

gamer leg vs gamer back who wins

[That One @milfomatica]

just remembered it's Wednesday so umm... fellas...

[That One @milfomatica]

And British Gas will then go on to announce another year of record profits. Sick of this shit.

[BBC Breaking News @BBCBreaking]

Energy bills for typical household to rise by 13% to £1,862 a year from July, British regulator Ofgem says
https://t.co/25bsndTvVJ

[That One @milfomatica]

How we going to find out if we don't fuck around a bit?

[That One @milfomatica]

anyone buying under boob sweat? Want to check the market demand before I buy the empty bottles.

[Mikey #lfc🔴❤️🔴❤️ @Mrw301992]

If anybody is shagging in this weather you are absolute lunatics 🥵🥵

[That One @milfomatica]

Go on then, let's see the tan lines ;)

mine? I retreated indoors 🫠

[That One @milfomatica]

Wait, Katie Price's husband is missing? Did anyone check under her back tires?

[That One @milfomatica]

Also, while I'm moaning about things before I go out for the day, why are all these bots sending messages like "I seductively remove my hijab for you..." This place got so low rent the bots can't even be bothered to do targeted messages anymore?

[That One @milfomatica]

Also the sort of person who thinks I actually send 100s of DMs when I do my like for a DM nonsense🤣🤣

[That One @milfomatica]

"What, you too busy slagging around to reply to me?"

First off, I owe you no time whatsoever out of my day. Second, my being on Twitter and actually replying is the slagging around portion of my day, dumbo.

[That One @milfomatica]

Part of me would rather smell filthy tobacco smoke than sit in some cloud of sickly warm white chocolate raspberry vapour.

remember when they were meant to be aids to quitting smoking and not the option for people who never have?