Charlie Claplin

ish bondyé, ish lawi. the most beautiful bogeyman. expert cavorter. your stoner uncle’s best friend. 🇱🇨🇪🇷

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

Hmm, I know you love me
I got it in writing, I got it in writing
It's here in my pocket, soak it and light it🎶

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

Drain a hurricane over this dreamer
Trust a Gemini to hurt your feelings
Charming like a preacher
Wanna cut me deeper
Like a gentlemen on praying knees
I'd try to praise you 'til the whole world freezes
Hmm, I know you're lonely and paying in private
I'm sorry your highness🎶

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

I sure hope so.

[astrology bot @hourIyhoroscope]

it'll get lighter soon, aries.

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Every time I look in the mirror…

[astrology bot @hourIyhoroscope]

you look like your mom, aries.

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

I been goin’ through somethin’…2,037 days.

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

Lighter already.

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

Everything’s a joke until it’s not.

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

Which is why...

[astrology bot @hourIyhoroscope]

aries, pisces can see right through you.

[State of New York @NYGov]

it’s hole filling season

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

Turned me to a non-believer, got me stressing and supposed to be my stress reliever🎶

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

@MarkusLaveau Come here lemme bite that.

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

Good mornin' darlin'
I see you fallin'
In and out of love
Is it because you're cold and heartless?
Or is it our withdrawals?
Forgotten how to be a part of
That final scene in Casablanca
If it was two of you
Prolly break the first one's heart in two
But second time's a charm...

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

America is an interesting place. It’s “we need millions of guns to resist tyrannical government” until ICE starts killing mfs in the street every 72 hours like clockwork and then it’s “organized marches” and “peaceful protest”.

Where Rambo and Bane at?

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

Ok.

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

@estlapetitemort Hey now…

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

You lot celebrated the kidnapping of the leader of a sovereign nation. Now the sword's turned on you it's a problem. This "international law for me and not for thee" fuckery is over.

I hope the US *does* take Greenland, and that China and Russia start annexing countries.

[Statsministeriet @Statsmin]

Joint Statement on Greenland
https://t.co/ORMWHpKEJt

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

Like force me to have to cook three Christmas meats one by one in the oven and baste feverishly when they have a meat roaster in the basement that they conveniently forgot about until 1pm today. 😡😡😡😡

But again. Can’t stay mad at them. Because they smile and I get stupid.

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

My wife and my mother in law are beautiful people. Like…not “normal” beautiful. Eritrean mountain deity beautiful. High cheekbones and big doe eyes and chiseled jawbones and such.

The worst thing about this is they *know* they are. So they do mad things and get away with it.

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

Like break the thermostat during a terrible winter storm…and then keke about it while we all freeze to death.

[Charlie Claplin @militantnaps]

Me.

[Spill The Memes @SpillTheMemes]

When you find out who's really causing most of your life's problems...

🤣🤣🤣