Millie Tompkins

Forever spilling toothpaste on my tops

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

@POTUS I BET you can’t think of anything better than a perfectly cooked egg yolk

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

In a world full of things to give a fuck about, I’m so glad I swayed my fuck-budget from decidedly average, boring and predictable humans, to the likes of Nando’s humous and dogs

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

@MOBHorwood @DavidSeaman93 Amazing! I’ve got to wear one now hahaha

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

Hi @DavidSeaman93 my company is doing a football shirt for charity day on Friday and I don’t have one. You’re my fave footballer - don’t suppose you’ve got a spare? ⚽️⚽️

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

@GWRHelp your train service from redhill to reading is the WORST thing I’ve EVER experienced. How can one line be late and/or cancelled so much! I’ve only used it for 5 months and fucking hell 🤬

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

@WickedHealthy @Tesco all I’m saying is, is that your Pumpkin Falafel sandwich NEEDS avo, humous or vegan mayo in it #ghandisflipflop

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

Not to brag but I just successfully used trains

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

I just fucking hate trains

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

@JVLonghurst I've managed to pay off £150 in 3 years which by all accounts is a massive achievement

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

@jk_rowling are you as sad as @saydailygrace and I are that the Slughorn-Lily-Francis the fish story didn't make it to the films?! 🐠⚡️

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

@realDonaldTrump you're a squib

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

#tbt dock leaves

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

@elliefrank1 IM SO GLAD WE SHARE THIS DISCOVERY AND TRUE LOVE

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

@AldiUK @Aldi_Ireland *bit not snit hahha

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

@AldiUK @Aldi_Ireland And it's definitely not shell!!

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

Hi @AldiUK @Aldi_Ireland I was happily eating a Foodie Market Paleo macadamia and coconut bar and almost broke a tooth on a snit of stone 😕

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

Also @McDonalds I can tell you that I orders a LARGE meal for a reason and it wasn't to receive 12 chips 🙁

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

Listen no one panic but I'm on a train with an American who keeps using "LMAO" as a thing

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

@benllewelyn #tbt batty crease

[Millie Tompkins @MillieTompkins]

Best new insult "she's such a Tyne-Lexi"