Carly Milroy

I will impersonate your dog.

[Tony Martin @mrtonymartin]

Loved @KateDehnert & @becness's show at #MICF tonight. Only 2 weeks to go: https://t.co/9lgXwjBgo9

[Carly Milroy @milroypants]

Here are some things in BETTY CORETTO I'm really excited to show you next week:
Sad faces on fingers.
Just a very normal Grand Designs ep.
A "this one's for Carly" Eliza Doolittle sing.
@Broni being possessed.

Please come x

[Andy Matthews @stupidoldandy]

The best and most hilarious people @broni and @milroypants are doing a show in the second half of #micf. I’ve heard bits of it and it’s so incredibly dumb and incredibly funny. Please go.

[Melbourne International Comedy Festival @micomfestival]

HUGE NEWS!

Thanks to the Victorian Government's Entertainment Program that launched today at 3pm, you can claim back 25% of the cost of your tickets to shows right across the Festival!

[Carly Milroy @milroypants]

@Alasdairtb I read ‘and throw pillows’ as a verb and thought that sounded about right

[Sammy Petersen @mrsammyp]

I’ve finally finished Season 1 of Netflix. Can’t wait until they upload Season 2.

[Andy Matthews @stupidoldandy]

We have identical twins who are three years old and like to whisper in my ear before they go to sleep.

Twin 1 *whispers*: "Daddy, I love you so much".
Twin 2 *whispers*: "How does dynamite work?"

This is presented for any insights it might offer into the nature/nurture debate.

[Carly Milroy @milroypants]

Kondo-ed all my pants

[Carly Milroy @milroypants]

@kathygribble @stupidoldandy Hairy alien eggs. (Or, Jerusalem artichokes.) I have no idea what to do with them.

[Carly Milroy @milroypants]

Thankful my husband and I had the foresight to plant plenty of delicious Brown for harvesting when the supermarkets shut down. #uncertaintimes

[Carly Milroy @milroypants]

My week in lockdown with 3 kids under 4 is exactly Kindergarten Cop in reverse. Starts out with calm crafternoons, total chaos in the middle and at the end Arnie busts in & starts blowing holes in the walls.

[Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall @Alasdairtb]

Its been three weeks since my last awkward kiss on the cheek and I feel great.

[Carly Milroy @milroypants]

The government’s having such a hard time working out what to do with all this nuclear waste.
Might I suggest sprinkling some chia seeds on top to transform it in to a nutritious breakfast?

[Carly Milroy @milroypants]

@meandmyeasel @AngusGordon9 Everything about this story made my heart sing.

[Dee @figgled]

Very touched that the store I bought socks from in 2015 is thinking of me during this difficult time

[Carly Milroy @milroypants]

@stupidoldandy Why can’t you just have tiny cat ears?

[Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall @Alasdairtb]

Might use a national address to try out my 'what even is barre anyway?' gear.

[Carly Milroy @milroypants]

PLEASE keep 1.5m away from others at the supermarket! I just spent my grocery trip Julie Andrews-ing around the aisles to distance myself from people breathing down my neck. Wait for others. Find your chill. You’ve literally got nowhere to be.

[Andy Matthews @stupidoldandy]

Hey! While we are all trying to be self sufficient, here's something fun and quick to do with your garden produce THREAD:

[Carly Milroy @milroypants]

So thrilled at @DanielAndrewsMP leadership. Thank God someone knows what they’re doing.

[Carly Milroy @milroypants]

It begins... #lockdown #StayAtHome